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How can you tell?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Fighter14, Nov 23, 2012.

  1. Fighter14

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    I am not sure if a girl I am texting is interested in girls in that way. I've heard some rumors, but I am not too quick to believe everything I hear. When she texts me i get the vibe she is flirting (lots of smiles and "hehe's" and some winky faces) but with girls it's always hard to tell if it's actually flirting or just friendly conversation. Is there any advice for signs I can look for that these conversations are more than just friendly chit-chats?

    Before you ask, yes I know this person, I just haven't talked to her in a little while because we both went off to different schools. We were good friends in high school, but I wasn't out in high school and she still doesn't know about me. I just don't want to ruin a friendship with awkwardness. Any help would be great!
     
  2. Are you out to other people? It's possible that the news have trickled down to her. I don't think winkies can tell you that much about her. I think if she complimented you about your sense of humor or appearance, it would be a stronger sign that she's flirting.
     
  3. Fighter14

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    I am out to some people, but it's a very small and select group. But, anything is possible, so she may have heard. But thank you for your help! I really appreciate it!
     
  4. dreamcatcher

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    Girls are very touchy feely and are hard to read. I think the only way of finding out directly is by telling her you're bi or asking her if she's into girls. Which is an awkward question, I know. Maybe you can talk about gay marriage one day and see what she says. She might give you a hint.
     
  5. lexi

    lexi Guest

    Try bringing it up... but if you're too nervous to just come out and ask her (no pun intended) try just hinting at it or making a joke about it.

    Good luck :slight_smile:
     
  6. Fighter14

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    The gay marriage idea is a good one. That's what I'm looking for, a way of finding out if the rumors I heard about her are true without making her uncomfortable (and embarrassing myself if it turns out the rumors were false).

    As far as girls being hard to read, I couldn't have said it better myself. I can never tell and always just assume they're straight, I just get a different feeling with this girl, but that's probably just because of the rumors I've heard.
     
  7. SillyRomantic

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    People are different, girls included. How is her personality? Is she shy/confident? Social butterfly or socially awkward?

    Does she treat you differently from other people and has her behaviour changed towards you lately (seeing as you already know her).
     
  8. Emberblaze

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    Be careful, I fell in love with a girl like that... I KNEW she didn't like me back, but the way she texted me and talked to me made my mind trick myself into thinkin she felt like that about me. ANd then of course a wave of confusion ensued and ALLL this cRraaaap! (And yeah, she was a relatively close friend... and now that I look back at it, I shouldn't ahve told her I was gay a few months before I told her how I felt lols.)

    Buuuuut! In the end, this endeavor helped me feel more confident and more sure about my sexuality.

    SO! The moral of this long, stupid story? Be SUUUUURE that you know how she feels befooooore you give any hints at how you feel about her.

    Maybe you should hint that your bi or just straight out tell her. Lols and just keep your mind clear, and PLEASE have a game plan!!! Or you'll end up like me D :
     
  9. Fighter14

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    Well I haven't talked to her in a few months until recently. So I can't say how much her behavior has changed towards me personally.

    As far as her personality, when I was good friends with her, she was not necessarily a social butterfly but not awkward either. She seems relatively confident, but has told me she's changed a good bit since we've went our separate ways. I'm tempted to ask her how exactly she's changed to see if maybe the change is her sexuality. Good idea?? Bad idea??

    Ultimately I'm not sure if she acts this way towards others because I haven't seen her in a while.