Just found out I'm pretty sure I'm lesbian but I have a boyfriend...

I don't mean to suggest I know your orientation better than you do (I certainly don't know your history), but this seems sudden and the "no longer" about your interest in guys seems like a very sudden shift, too. If you've had attraction to men before these crushes on women, I think you need to think long and hard on it. Sometimes people swing back and forth for awhile before they figure it out, and they may not be the only ones who hurt in the process.

Regardless of how long you've been with your boyfriend, though, he deserves to know if the relationship just isn't going to work. Far worse than having to leave someone he loves would be the two of you living a lie and you always wishing to be elsewhere.

The two choices would be to send a letter or speak to him in person, and it's up to you to decide which one best suits the two of you. Is he likely to need time alone to process or is he the type who needs to ask a lot of questions? Would he consider writing insulting and impersonal? Keep it short and to the point, remind him that it isn't because of shortcomings on his end but don't patronize him with flattery, and go from there. There really isn't a way to make it not hurt.

 

You need to be honest with him, however, since even you are confused, you don't have to go into all details. If you want to tell him how you feel right now, you can. It will be the most genuine and honest thhing to do. On the other hand, you could always just say that it's not working. You love him but you are going through some changes in your life type thing. Neither way is going to make this any easier for him, but even you know you need to do this. Good luck to you!

 

Hello there,
I had a girlfriend when I came out to myself, we were going on a year and she was very very loyal and a great person. But when you are not attracted to someone, let alone knowing you are not attracted to the opposite sex, the relationship needs to end. It's a alot more stress and confusion to you to have that relationship while being confused about your orientation. It's also not right to keep him, he still has feelings for you but you don't feel the same. It's kinda unfair and not right to the both of you to keep the relationship up.
When I broke up with my girlfriend it crushed me at first, but then I felt so much better after a while. I felt like a weight and obligation was lifted and I was free to feel however and whatever I wanted without guilt to her.
He may be hurt, but it's for the best. If you don't feel the same, then how is it supposed to work?

Best wishes.