High School Melodrama: Rant Style.

Ok, so, first here's how I see it in my own overly dramatic world:

So tonight I went to this girl's sweet 16 at this fancy place 'cause she's rich and yaddaya for the usual food and dancing and whatever. So, I'm having a great time just chatting with my friends, getting my palm read by a psychic (I know, they hired a pyschic...wow.) and thinking of clever t-shirt phrases when the love of my life (lets call him Rob...and yes, I know I'm being dramatic) goes to sit down at a dark table in the corner (the room's dark 'cause of the dancing and the music's blaring and whatnot) and so I don't really notice until my absolute best friend (let's call her Cecilia) and the first person I ever came out to goes and sits next to him. Now, since I'm friends with both Rob and Cecilia, I notice and think "I'm kinda bored, why don't I go join them..." until I notice Cecilia lean her head on Rob's shoulder. Now I know that Cecilia has had an on going thing for Rob since 9th grade (we're in 11th now) so I think "ok...I'll give them their space and let Cecilia have her few seconds with Rob, who has really expressed no interest in Cecilia whatsoever in the past 2 years", oh and btw, Rob and I never were going out or anything...in fact I believe he's straight just because he didn't say anything indicating otherwise when I came out to him last spring and then told him I had a massive crush on him (phrased differently, of course) a week later.

Ok, so they're sitting there and it looks like they're talking and yaddaya until five minutes go by, then ten, then fifteen, in the meantime all of my girlfriends have noticed and they're all like "awww, look at Rob and Cecilia...aren't they cute? Aren't they Chris?" And so, since only about half of them know about my thing for Rob, and those who do think I got over everything over the summer (as did I up until that point), all I can do is smile and nod, until eventually I have to lean over to one of my friends (let's call her Catherine) and am like "wow...now I know that I have a severe jealousy complex" and she's like "OH...I'm sorry!!" and then my other friend (let's call her Jessica) who didn't know is like "what?" and Catherine leans over to Jessica, but since the music was so loud I couldn't quite make out what she was saying...but I thought I heard the words "Gay" and "Rob" and so then Jessica leans over to me and says "Oh, well, look at his posture...he's so stiff. Now I feel really bad for Cecilia...oooh, should we go interrupt?" and I'm like "no...that's probably not a good idea..."

But the whole incident made me want to scream and pull out my hair...but what really bugs me is that I couldn't do ANYTHING or even have a right to be jealous because he's straight and I've known and shes known that I've known that she's had a thing for him for a REALLY long time...ugh, and then they came out into the hall where we were all gathered around the psychic watching Jessica's palm get read (this was like 15 minutes later) and they're all happy and smiley and generally normal...but Cecilia doesn't give any explanation and neither of them say anything about it and so we were all in a state pretending it never happened. So tomorrow I plan on having a phone marathon with my friends (after I finish my massive amounts of homework and church going) trying to figure out what's going on.

I know it probably seems like I'm overreacting and it's all very laguna beach-esque but a) they were all alone in the corner at an empty table, b) they never do that and c) Cecilia seemed quite happy when she left...though Rob not quite as much...

Ok, thanks for letting me rant, and I'm sorry if I took up too much of your time with my massive essay about the goings on of the last hour.

 

Yeah, I did actually just talk to Cecilia, I didn't tell her my jealousy issues because that's not really fair to her and we've both known that we have a crush on the same guy and agreed that whoever he was interested in was the one he was interested in and that wouldn't come between us. But I did ask her where she stood with him and she said that, yes, there was definitely tension there, but their "official" status hasn't changed.

And yeah, I'm 95% sure that he is straight, and part of me doesn't really want to know, because at least now I can just tell myself that he rejected me on account that he was straight, but if it turns out that he's gay/bi then it's because he's not attracted to me or something along those lines...you know?

 

*sigh* women. They're great for clothes shopping (until they take all of your money *cough*) but they're terrible when they share the same taste in guys.

I just feel really bad telling her how I really feel, just 'cause being with him is pretty much all she's ever wanted since he came in 9th grade, and I really have no right to him because he's straight and I really only developed a crush on him last february. Then Cecilia and I have been obsessing over him all spring, something that really brought us toghether and I really don't want it to be something that tears us apart. But I know what you mean tired, I never approve of my sister's boyfriends. The last guy she dateds name was Chris (my name) which was really awkward, the guy a few years before that was a complete a**hole, treated her horribly and eventually got expelled, and the guy she's dating now is a homophobic catholic boy who's 14. 14!!! She's 17!!! But yeah, I'm never afraid to tell her how I feel, and she knows that, so she really doesn't listen to me anymore.

But yeah...I dunno...I'll talk to Rob at school tomorrow. I just don't want to see anyone get hurt, which seems pretty much inevitable at this point...especially since we're all involved in this extended "love septahedron" that peaked last spring with 2 stalkers, 2 gay crushes, 3 complete obsessions, 2 long distance relationships, 0 local relationships, 10 instances of unrequited love (for lack of a better term), and on top of that it all happened within our general social group, so most of us were really close friends...thus adding and odd, almost incestuous, element to the mix.

Ahhh...the mystery and intrigue that is our lives.

Wow, now I feel really selfish about taking up an entire thread just about my extremely trivial life...oh well, it is kind of fun all the same...

 

I know...I don't want to be jealous and I want to be happy for them if they ever do get together (another HIGHLY aggravating thing...she won't tell him and he doesn't pick up on her hints), but I dunno, I can't really help it...

And thanks Lorenz, It's pretty awesome to hear that my life is more entertaining than Queer As Folk...that pretty much makes it all worth it :lol:.

 

Ok, so I know it's been a while and probably no one really cares anymore, but I need some more ranting...so here goes:

Alright, so now how it is...Cecilia has been having random breakdowns in school over Rob and can't get even get within 10 feet of him without becoming upset (needless to say, they didn't get together after the party...in fact, Rob did absolutely nothing), however, she says that she has no emotional attatchment to him besides a few residual strings. And what really started this off was that our friend Andrew (alias of course...these are really kind of fun) had a conversation with Rob in which Rob said that he didn't want to take Cecilia to prom because he "didn't want her to get the wrong idea" and then talked about how much her friendship ment to him and then immediately started talking about a whole ton of other girls whom he would take. So Andrew told Cecilia this and she got really upset.

Now, Cecilia, Rob, Catherine, Jessica, and I are all part of this tight-knit group of mainly girls, and I was really kind of lingering at the outside until this year. And really, although Rob was part of this group, he was only friends with Cecilia, me, and one or two other girls. So naturally, when Cecilia got upset over what Rob said in this conversation, they all immediately snub Rob (who I still don't think has a very good idea as to what's really going on) and take her side. Now Cecilia has officially deemed herself my hag and got kind of annoyed when I stayed friends with Rob after this, however not too terribly annoyed and it hasn't really ever come up.

So now, as homecoming's coming up, Cecilia invited me to homecoming dinner - the traditional dinner that everyone goes to the night of homecoming, something that I haven't been invited to in the past - and also informing me that nobody else really wants Rob to come (who I think has some cello thing that night and can't make it anyways) and that they all see me as the new Rob, only, as Cecilia put it, "they like me better." This puts me in the EXTREMELY awkward position of still being good friends with Rob yet also effectively taking his place in the group. Now, before anyone jumps to any conclusions, this group isn't one of those bitchy popular mean girls-esque group, I've actually been friends with most of these people for quite a while, only this year becoming friends with the last few and good friends with everyone else.

So my present course of action is to talk over with Cecilia tomorrow about why exactly it is that she's so upset with Rob (I'm still slightly unclear about that) and then go talk to Rob and tell him exactly what's going on (Cecilia said that that's fine) and just tell him that Cecilia needs her space right now and to maybe just lay off of her for a week or two just until the dust settles.

However, from my perspective it looks like Cecilia and Rob's friendship is dissolving and I really hate to see that happen because they were such good friends before. I'm also worried that this might leave me in the awkward position of being the group's unofficial ambassador to Rob, because I have a feeling that Rob is still going to very much be a part of Cecilia's life, even if their friendship does go down the drain.

And so, to wrap it all up, I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on this or any advice they want to share. ANYTHING is welcome at this point.

Thank you all who had the patience to read this entire thing and put up with a bit more melodrama .

 

Thanks Lorenz, that's all really helpful, and yeah, I'd like to stay friends with both and I'd like them to be friends...thats going to be a tough one to manage.

And no, a cello thing on homecoming isn't that fishy...Rob's always skipping school to go to the Kennedy center or wherever to play...wow, you should hear him...pretty much anyone who watches him play falls in love with him immediately. But yeah, he also did try to get Cecilia to reschedule for the Friday before, but everyone was opposed to that idea because that would mean we'd all have to skip the annual bonfire to suit his schedule.

And don't worry, I'll make the next installment once more developments take place, which will probably be pretty soon.

 

Wow, so I guess by pretty soon I meant nearly 2 months...well, it's been a pretty uneventful couple of months until a couple of weeks ago.

Pretty much what happened after my last post is one of our friends Nicole (how I love aliases...its like being a spy ) talked to Rob, and he laid off for a while until things settled down and Cecilia didn't really care as much anymore. So it's all good with them...or at least it somewhat seems like that.

But, there's a new and exciting plot twist. Andrew (the guy who was telling Cecilia pretty much what Rob was saying, and being kind of an asshole about it) has now begun hanging out with us more. At first I thought it was just Andrew being kind of clingy since he doesn't have a whole ton of other friends, because, I mean, he's a nice enough guy...just really incredibly tactless, which often makes it seem like he's being malicious and leads him to further screw over Rob and Cecilia's friendship. So, he seemed to be hanging out with us more and more until now, when he hangs out primarily with us. So I don't have a HUGE problem with this, I mean, I'm still annoyed with what he said to Cecilia earlier this fall and before, plus, not many of us are really responding to his attempts to move in. It's just he lives in the same general area as Katherine and Cecilia and we usually get together out there so we all feel guilty not inviting him. So I'm kind of confused about what to do in that situation because he's not a bad guy, just really kind of annoying...and I feel like a really bad person not wanting him to be more in the group, which it looks like is going to happen.

And now, back to Rob and Cecilia and what not. So really there hasn't been any real tension between the two recently, but about a week ago, right after a college counseling night for juniors at school, Rob comes up to me and compliments me on my audition for the school musical (it's Oliver, and I got a pretty big role...so yay!! :icon_bigg). So I'm like "you were really good too...yada yah" because he was...he's one of those people who's extremely talented at everyting, it's kind of scary. So we kind of chat for a bit and then he leaves and immediately Cecilia comes up to me and is like "Rob is officially out, because really the only thing keeping him in was me and Nicole, and Nicole's mad at him about what he did to me, so he's out." And then, since we're standing at the entrance to the auditorium and everyone's trying to get out, and both our parents are waiting, we didn't really get to have an in-depth discussion about it, and she pretty much left right afterwards. So at that point two things were going through my head: the first one being "um *cough* hello? How am I not keeping him in the group?" and more importantly the second one "wait...what exactly did he do?? You never really clarified that Cecilia!" All I could really think of that Rob did was that he told Andrew he wasn't going to ask Cecilia to Prom becase he said she might get the wrong idea, something that Andrew of course immediately told Cecilia. But to me this doesn't really seem like something to end a friendship over...in fact, it seems like a perfectly logical explanation. I mean, sure, he was throwing mixed signals, especially with the whole september party fiasco, but it was also Cecilia who initiated everything and mostly just Rob not really knowing what to do so just kind of going along with it somewhat awkwardly.

Then, there's this whole other thing that leads to more complications. So, Rob and I are in the same art class and what we're doing now is this group project where we paint and cut a board in some sort of shape or picture. And guess what? My group consists of me and Rob. So that's totally fine, since I'm still friends with Rob even though he's officially "out," plus it was me who suggested that we work together in the first place, so I'm not complaining about that. What really led to the new complications was yesterday, when Rob and I had to work on it at an odd time because he had to do some cello thing during our normal art class...which was fine...except that this was Cecilia's lunch block and she happened to wander into the art room after she had eaten...which lead to some awkwardness...but not too bad and I didn't really read too much into it. But then, at the end of the day came the all school Thanksgiving assembly when I sat down next to Cecilia, but she put her purse between us and was like "I'm not sitting next to you" and she had on a kind of joking tone so I wasn't really offended or anything and I asked why and she said "because you didn't come to the fall concert on friday" and I was like "ok..." and then the guy sitting on her other side, Jonathan, said "Cecilia, I didn't go to the fall concert, but you're still sitting next to me..." and Cecilia was like "yeah...well...you're cool..." and it was kind of weird because she sounded kind of like she was joking, but I have no idea if she was because I didn't get a chance to talk to her afterwards...so no I'm just really confused about everthing.

Any advice on my incredibly long and overly detailed life?

 

Yes, I apologize for the complete lack of concision in my rants, they usually just come out as streams of consciousness...I really should start going back over everything and editing before I post...

Yeah, those seem to be all the main points, and just a few responses (I'll try to keep them short :icon_bigg):

-Rob is most likely straight, and I'm operating (for the most part) under the assumption that he is, so that's not that big of an issue anymore.

-The thing about Andrew is that in 9th grade, when he first came, he got a lot of crap for being so awkward and what not, mainly because he was homeschooled previously. Now none of us really want to do that to him again, especially since he has gotten better since then. He's just still really kind of annoying.

-I didn't go to the fall concert because my cousin came in from out of town just for that night. Convenient, I know. But then Cecilia was just being a drama-queen and it hasn't really come up since.

-Rob didn't do anything to me, he just did something to Cecilia that ticked off Nicole. So I will go to Cecilia and find out what exactly that was.

-Rob does actually seem to be the only stable and truly nice one at this point. It's gotten to a point where everyone's shunning him so openly that I want to scream at them that he's NOT A BAD GUY!!!

-No, I'm not so much into the whole flogging thing :lol:, but like I said before, this is really just my stream of consciousness, and streams of consciousness don't really tend to come to me in neatly divided sentences and paragraphs . Yet another reason why I need to begin editing my posts.

-I do what I can to contribute to (or deteriorate) the English language.

And thank you so much for all your help on all of this, and for helping me step back and realize that my life is indeed amusing and entertaining .

 

Just to address a few comments:

Most sensible person in our group? No. Most logical, perhaps, but sensible? No. We all have our flaws, and a few people's flaws showed more than others throughout this whole situation, and nothing else. Also my subconcscience self-advertises like hell, so I probably seemed like Mr. Perfect-Always Correct in most of my posts :icon_bigg.

Also, I should probably reiterate that, despite what it seems, we are not a bitchy stereotypical meangirls-esque clique. We have a good number of those in our school, and I see 2 huge differences between us and them. 1) We do not make judgements before we know someone. There are no comments flying around in our group like "he looks like a faggot" or "ugh, I heard she's a total bitch, lets not talk to her." 2) We think for ourselves. If I'm doing something that ticks someone, say Katherine, off, Katherine won't be afraid to come up to be and say "that was a pretty lame-ass thing you did back there Chris" and she won't just talk to Cecilia and say "Isn't Chris a bastard?" behind my back.

Now that I'v said that, its conclusion time!

So I asked and it turns out things were a bit bigger than I had previously thought. Yes, the whole situation with Rob not wanting to take Cecilia to prom because she might get the wrong idea (which she probably would by the way) had something to do with it and really exacerbated the whole situation. But also in the few weeks and months before this Cecilia had viewed Rob as treating her rather poorly and just being really kind of selfish. Apparently a number of other people saw this too which is why most of our group was rather angry. I, however, did not really see this, either because Cecilia was taking it for more than it was or, at that time, in my eyes Rob could do no wrong, but it probably was a little bit of both.

Either way, now Cecilia has realized both that it wasn't really that big of a deal in the long run, and why she was friends with Rob in the first place. So now she's decided that it's probably best just if she's friends with Rob if she can't be anything else, and she really seems to be coming to a point where she can really do that. So now since Cecilia's really pretty much forgiven Rob for anything he may or may not have done, the rest of our friends are doing the same and everyone's cool with Rob. And I am left with no regrets, I have no feelings for Rob anymore and I'm very happy that I chose to remain friends with both through out all of this.