i was raised by my grandma and about 3 months ago i told her that i like girls and that i feel like i should be a guy. she didnt really understand the trans thing back then but that was ok. she said she accepted me being "gay" but was very uncomfortable with it. we went to therapy a few times and she would always leave angry because the therapist took my side. my grandma had suggested giving me estrogen as a way to make me straight and be happy as a girl but the therapist said that wouldnt help. i didnt mention it again until about a week ago and she completely understood the trans thing and even bought me guy jeans and a jacket. i was so happy, all me desires to self harm completely went away. then i went home for break and everything fell apart. she was telling me that i dont know what i want because i never dated anyone. she insists that someone did something to me that is making me this way. she also made fun of me for wearing the guys jeans and said that they dont look "classy" like my others do. their just plain jeans that fit like guys jeans do. i told her i dont want girls jeans because they fit tight and make me look like a girl and then she said: "you will never be male so i dont know what your trying to do". we were talking some more and she asked me if i want to look gay where people will instantly know that i am, and i said no. she just cant understand that i am a guy and not a lesbian. she really hurt my self esteem yesterday, i went home and cried for hours. i still hear her saying "you will never be male" ringing in my head. and all i want to do is cry. now im thinking about trying to be a girl just to make her happy. i dont know what to do, i cant be happy being a girl, but i cant stand her saying this stuff to me. did any of you go through this when you came out as trans?
I don't know about the coming out part because I haven't got the balls to do it yet (no pun intended) Your nan obviously knows nothing about trans people because if she did she would know that saying 'you will never be male' is stupid because you are already male, you just have an innie instead of an outie Well done for coming out though! That's a very brave step and you shouldn't go back on yourself just because someone is blocking your path. It will just take time for your nan to understand, and the best thing you could do is carry on wearing the right clothes until she accepts you are her grandson.
