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STRONG urge to come out.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by revi, Nov 24, 2012.

  1. revi

    revi Guest

    I have wnted to come out, be who I am, and let everyone know the true me. But the truth is I am very very scared. I can't isolate why which really botheres me.

    It is just an inner fear that sits and eats away it covers my inside and I am not sure my will is enough to shine through it. I want to be who I am more than anything I am gay I love men but I JUST CAN'T COME OUT ANYMORE. That fear won't let me do it AND I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY!! :bang:

    Any advice?
     
  2. All Star

    All Star Guest

    I felt the same way before I came out. I recommend you start with a very close friend, and then work your way out. Good luck!
     
  3. revi

    revi Guest

    I have told some close friends.... and now I I just cant bring myself to do it anymore.
     
  4. Ashton

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    Just rip that band-aid off lad :slight_smile: let us know how it goes please :grin:
     
  5. Rinamir Mortem

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    A good place to start is a friend and a great deal of courage. If that is still keeping you back I can only assure you that you will feel better. Not only because you can be who you are but because you got over the greatest hurdle any member of the LGBT community can face.

    I certainly wish you the best of luck! (*hug*)
     
  6. revi

    revi Guest

    I can't ive already started to pull it off slow and stopped because i fear the oncomming pain i guess
     
  7. Ashton

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    What oncoming pain?
     
  8. revi

    revi Guest

    Idk and i think thats what scares me'!
     
  9. TheLonelyOne

    TheLonelyOne Guest

    I'm 22 and I can't bring myself to be fully out. My family knows but I just can't seem to tell others. In a way I feel like what's the point? It's not like I have a relationship to want to be out for. Only one guy has ever given me a chance and he was a jerk.
     
  10. Emberblaze

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    I think I know what ya mean man. I'm ready to just stand on a building and just fire off a large firework that'll detonate into an iridescent rainbow and...-

    Ok, you get the point, right? Lols i'm just want everyone to know.

    But I fear the unknown. I always told myself I wouldn't care if there was someone I knew that didn't accept it, but that was all talk. Because I came out to one friend before and our friendship nearly ended that night. I had to crawl back into the closet, defeated and broken.

    After telling her, I've realized that there are two other close friends that I'm uncertain of what their responses will be... And that scares me.

    And when I told that friend that, I was so shocked. because I honestly expected her to take it great and be totally fine with it and that night, I realized that I don't know things the way I think i do.

    I guess if it's a fear of being rejected by people that you already may be close to, then maybe it'd be better to just be openly out to the world. Then, you won't have to risk becoming friends of people against homosexuality?

    This has become more of a rant than an answer, apologies : /
     
  11. revi

    revi Guest

    No I am not scared of that atleast not the most any more advice?
     
  12. Rinamir Mortem

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    I feared the same when I came out but I assured myself that those who leave me for my sexuality were a waste of time in the long run. If people are that shallow why hold onto them?

    In the end, the friends you make while out could become friends that were 100% greater than those you lost when you came out, mainly because they know you as gay, not a closeted gay and won't leave you because of it.
     
  13. revi

    revi Guest

    I have another question. How can i do a controlled coming out without my family figuring out.
     
  14. Emberblaze

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    What exactly do you mean a controlled coming out? (by the way, I shall have more advice for you!).

    Do you mean like coming out to a lot of select people??
     
  15. revi

    revi Guest

    Yeah all my peers
     
  16. Emberblaze

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    Hrmmmm... Maybe do something like wear a rainbow tie to school and take it off before you get home? Or just announce it during lunch or something of sorts? Do any of your peers have contact with your parents often?
     
  17. revi

    revi Guest

    Yes i made a joke about me saying i wana kill myself a couple years bacj and somehow it got to my dad i guess thats what im afraid of
     
  18. Emberblaze

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    Hmmm, In that case then, you'd probably have to watch your tracks with how you go about this. Are you already out to all your close friends? If not, i'd start with them and see where how you feel with that.

    Now for advice that isn't a bunch of bull! (Ugh, which Im probably not ultimately capable of giving at the moment >:/ ). But in all honesty if you're going to come out to all of your peers, it's probably going to be inevitable that your parents find out.

    Would your parents take the news badly?
     
  19. revi

    revi Guest

    I think they would take it badly but i need some good advice on mass coming out if i dont tell my sis or family then my dad might not know for a while
     
  20. Emberblaze

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    Well, for a mass coming out, I've been wondering the same myself. Hell, maybe we can conspire! Only difference is, I don't care if my mom finds out.

    Any who maybe you can tell someone with a big mouth and let them spread the news?

    Like I said earlier, maybe a rainbow tie or something? Or a shirt that says I'm Gay?

    If your school has like a school newspaper or something, maybe do it that way?...

    Or maybe just come out to every one of your classes one day and just let the news spread?

    Sorry, I really don't have too many great ideas about mass coming out man. I'll certainly think about it though