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I Need Serious Help: Does My Friend Like Me or Does he Not?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by brandonts, Nov 25, 2012.

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  1. brandonts

    brandonts
    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Hi,
    I'm in a bit of a situation and i need some advice. I have this friend who I've gotten close with recently...
    I actually hooked him up with a friend of mine who's a girl. While they would flirt and talk I'd get really jealous. During the beginning of the thing they had because I secretly wished that it was me that he'd flirt with. When I realized that he was willing to actually date her I made it clear to him that I could no longer be his friend if he continued to try to pursue her. After about 2 weeks, he stopped talking to her because he told me that he didn't want our relationship to suffer. He always talks to me about how he wants to see me happy and I'm the only one of his friends who he can go to for the crap we talk about.
    Even though He talks to me about a lot of stuff, I feel like we're lovers. The way we talk ... most guy friends dont. The way How he expresses how he's feeling, and personal things like that really makes me feel good about our friendship. He talks about girls, and We fight a lot (like a couple; I get mad at him for stupid stuff) and we talk 24/7 and call it each every night. (Boys dont usually do that) Oh and we tell each other that we love each other A LOT and we always <3 each other during every single conversation we have. He keeps asking me for a sleepover and though I want to say YES, i feel like I'd be let down if nothing happened.
    All my close friends think that he shows interest in me and though he dosent know for a fact that I'm bi, i'm sure he has to know a little bit. It's pretty obvious.

    He seriously makes me feel that he cares about everything I want and I cant imagine myself without him at this point just because of how good we make each other feel. Some of my friends say I'm in love and though I do love him as a person, I can't say I'm in love yet just because of how scared I am to get hurt again

    Does anyone think he could feel some type of way about me? I don't wanna ask him because I don't wanna ruin what we have. But I don't wanna keep it in my head because it'll drive me crazy.

    Please leave comments to help me out!
     
    #1 brandonts, Nov 25, 2012
  2. BudderMC

    BudderMC
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    Welcome to EC!

    It sounds like you're close friends at least. I mean, you describe (minus saying we love each other) my friendship with my closest friend, and he's definitely straight. At least, he came to me venting about how he was crushing on a girl, so I assume he's straight.

    The thing is, there's no way to know for sure if he's into you unless he says so. You could outright ask him (but I'm assuming you don't want to), so find a way to prompt the conversation. A good way to do that is by coming out to him, because:

    - you let him know that you trust him enough to share your secrets
    - you let him know you're available (if he's into guys)
    - you let him know you can keep his secret (if he's into guys and needs to come out)

    Another option is, of course, to let him know you like him, but you risk making things awkward that way.

    Regardless, I'd advise against sitting and waiting for something to happen, because you'll drive yourself crazy (like you said), you'll probably be really disappointed by the results, and you risk ruining a friendship in the process.

    In my case, my friendship with my friend sounds similar in how close you are to your friend. Ultimately, I wondered for a long time if he was into guys because he'd never dated any girls. I decided after much debating that his friendship was worth more to me than anything potentially happening between us, no matter how possible I felt it was, so I made myself get over my crush on him.

    You've mentioned a couple times how valuable your friendship is to you - I think it's important to evaluate whether or not that's more important than a relationship, even if he is into guys and/or into you. Assuming you start dating, just because you're friends doesn't guarantee that the relationship will work and you still may lose a friendship in the process.

    tl;dr - the most failsafe way to protect your friendship is probably to move past your crush, but it's up to you whether or not that's worth it.
     
    #2 BudderMC, Nov 25, 2012
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