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what do i do

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Danny19, Nov 25, 2012.

  1. Danny19

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    so i came out to my sister a few months ago. She lives in another country so i did this through email. when i came out she told me she loved me and everything. but she said i should try getting therapy or medication to help me. That hurt but i got over it. We hadnt talked about it since then. Until today, we were talking on facebook and she said that she doesnt think i was born like this. that something happened to me to turn gay. and that maybe it was because i didnt have a fatherly figure or maybe someone touched me inappropriately. She says she still loves me no matter what. But she keeps saying that im confused and that it can go away. she tries challenging me, telling me "lets see whose right in the future." she went on to say that its not normal to have gay sex, anal in particular. just like its not normal for a man to have sex with an animal. and to be honest that hurt. She just made me feel like to her im never gonna be normal. She also said that maybe i should get my testosterone level tested and all this crap. she asked if i would like to be tested and if i wanted to live like this. im not the kind to get my feelings hurt, but that did. i guess im lucky that she still even loves me. i dont know what im looking to get by posting this. am i wrong for being upset at what she said?
     
  2. lexi

    lexi Guest

    It's really hurtful when people don't completely accept what you say, even if they still love you. I think you should make sure your sister knows how much she's hurting you. Unfortunately you might just have to accept that that's her option on and it won't change right away. (*hug*)
     
  3. Lucky Oshawott

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    I Really Don't Think That You Should Feel Bad For Being Upset By This. It's Not Your Sisters Fault Though, I'm Sure That She Means Well, And That She Loves You, But She Hasn't Really Had The Experiemce To Understand You. Plus, To Say That Gay Sex Is Unnatural Is Very Unfair Because For Any Person, Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual Or Even Straight People, The Feelings That You Have Are Your NATURAL Feelings And That's Why You Can't Change Them. I'm Sure That Given Time, She'll Hopefully Understand You Eventually. Good Luck! Hope This Helps.
     
  4. pinklov3ly

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    When I first came out my sister treated me differently. In some crazy weird way, she thought I'd be attracted to her--I don't know what she learned about gay people growing up. Or perhaps, she thought I would turn her gay because she did not want to be around me. Whenever, I would go into a room that she was in, she'd rush out. So, I feel your pain and I'm sure she means well; I truly don't think she understands. Telling her how you feel should work, there's nothing wrong with you. Embrace your feelings and sooner or later maybe your sister will come around.
     
  5. 4AllEternity

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    You're probably just going to have to live with her opinion. The good thing is that she still loves you, but you should stand firm with her that you do not think of being gay as having a disease or deformity.
     
  6. Rachyl

    Rachyl Guest

    You're not wrong to be upset. What she told you may be what she thinks and believes, but it is still terrible to hear. I am sorry she doesn't understand, but WE do.

    My sister was the same way when I came out as transgender 2 years ago, so I know how much it hurts to hear that mindset from a sibling. (*hug*)

    BTW. T shots, don't solve anything, been there and did that too. :icon_sad:
     
  7. Danny19

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    Thanks guys. i guess ive been thinking and even though it bothered me that she said that im just not gonna let it get to me. Maybe she wont think im confused when im fully out and have a bf lol. Even though she did make me feel like it for a bit, im not ashamed of who i am and who i like. Thanks you guys made me feel better like always :slight_smile:
     
  8. She's just ackin' cray-cray. People will hold their own opinions until they become enlightened with the unfamiliar.
     
  9. Danny19

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    yea true. but i also think she just really hopes i am confused and will go back to being "straight" which i never was but my sister isnt convinced. whatever i guess.
     
  10. Mirko

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    Hi there! As it was mentioned above, the familiar is the thing that will drive thoughts and opinions. For your sister, your coming out to her, probably surprised her, and her reaction was and still is based on what she knows, and understands. I would say give her time, and let her come to you, when she is ready to accept it. She told you something important: "she still loves you." That alone, will help her to come around eventually.

    The most important thing here though to remember at the moment is that you did what you needed to do, and it took a lot of courage. Congrats on coming out to her.

    (*hug*)