How can I come out at 22!

you can come out at any age, no times 'too late' at all.

naming dating sites is banned on the forums or websites that you have to be 18+ to use as members are welcome from the ages of 13. remember for future reference

i dont have any sex tips, but take your time doing anything. it seems you have jumped in head first and want to meet people and (possibly) sleep with them... if thats what you want to do by all means you can do that, but its also okay to stop and let yourself breathe for a second.

communication is key to any relationship and not all men will want sex straight away. the right guy will understand and wait and make you feel at ease. welcome to ec btw (*hug*)

 

Re: How to come out at 22!?

When you have alone time what do you see yourself more doing? That can often let you know if you like to top or bottom more. Like anything else, sex is more overwhelming until you actually do it. Once you do it, instinct kind of takes over.

 

Yeah, I agree with flyinhernikes. I have been looking to start a relationship for a long time, just hoping at the very least to see what it would be like. Recently I have been accepting of the fact that I just need to slow it down and take it step by step. There is no need to rush. If at this point you realize that you have feelings for other guys, then coming out shouldn't be any different than someone say who was 19 instead of 22 (and really, what is the age difference there really?) You have the choice of deciding who to go after, who to be with, and also who to let know what is happening (in terms of your sexuality). If and when you do meet a guy, meet a good one. And you know he is good when he understands what you are going through. He should understand that you need time and patience to sort things through. As for the sex itself, of course it will be different with a guy (especially if you are on the bottom right!?) If it happens sooner than later, alright, but it shouldn't be a major priority. Work on finding someone and sorting through your feelings first, then see where it goes one step at a time, or at the pace you feel comfortable with. As always, be safe!

:goodluck:

 

You're not on your own coming out at 22, I'm just doing the same and I'm 21. Seems like you're rushing things a little though, and I wouldn't go on gay dating sites if you find the idea of gay sex intimidating because that's what most people there will be after.

I think you should come out to people you know first and hopefully find someone to start a relationship with before you need to think about sex.

 

^ What I think LiquidSword is getting at is that you need to slow down a bit. You've expressed that you're uncomfortable with the idea of sex AND you're not out to anyone. Take things one step at a time.

Now, the question becomes which step do you take first? The sex or the coming-out? I think most people would argue that coming out is a healthier first step to take, but none of us can make that decision for you.

EDIT: I've also merged the replies from both your threads and deleted the extra one, just so you know.

 

I'm in my mid-30's, and I'm just deciding that this is something I have to do. So...you're not alone, and from what I'm finding out on here, you're not too late. If you're too late, I've completely missed the bus on this one! I guess it's just that everyone does this at their own pace and on their own timeline. But, I can understand you feeling this way; I feel the same way.

 

Remember Sally Ride came out just before she died. It's never too late, but come out to those that can handle it. I know, those who can't have the problem, but remember, it could mean life or death.

 

Hey I am 42, and I just recently came out, so trust me, you have all the time in the world.

I believe coming out first is the better of the two, then, once you are comfortable with yourself, start looking for someone you might be interested in. Sex is good, and sometimes absolutely great at times, but a loving relationship is pure gold.

 

Hey man, thanks! Dimbleby is my hero :icon_bigg

Well it's a good question and maybe I'm being too optomistic about it but hey. I don't have any gay friends either so I do worry a lot that even if I tell everyone I'll still struggle to find someone to have a relationship with. Still, I find that idea less scary than meeting strangers from the internet before I've even come out yet.

Being the optomist I'm hoping that my friends will be able to introduce me to some of their gay friends, I mean someone I know must know someone who's gay right?

Either way, even if I did struggle to find someone I'd still rather tell everyone I know before I started using the internet to meet people.

---------- Post added 26th Nov 2012 at 02:45 AM ----------

As for the sex thing I'm not really sure what to say. Would I be wrong in guessing you've only recently come to terms with being gay? I only ask because I only really accepted it myself about a year ago and at first I didn't really like the idea of being with a man. I think it was just because we're conditioned to imagine relationships between a man and a woman though, quite quickly the idea became more and more appealing. Now it feels like something I really want to do.

As for being a top or bottom I feel I would enjoy either, I'm turned on by the idea of both. If you watch porn and imagine yourself in either position what does that feel like?

 

No times late!! I came out when i was 13.:lol:

 

Well, you're not the only 22-year-old in this situation, we can all be in this together really...stick around.

 

I'm 26 and experiencing the same problems as you pretty much. Lots of good advice in here.