So, I've known him for about four years (I'm Male by the way), and only in the last few months have I actually started to 'like' him. I've also become a little bit addicted to this site, almost every night I've been reading posts that are relevant to my situation, like just a few minutes ago I was reading one about a guy who had fallen for his friend who, A. He wasn't sure if his friend was gay of not, and B. His friend identified himself as homophobic....from reading the post I got the general impression of a 'smokescreen' (I didn't come up with that, it was in the comments) and the guy himself says he is gay but didn't know if he should say anything.....my scenario is similar, but not exactly the same. I have had feelings for about two years now that I might be Gay, but then I realised I'm actually more attracted to Women than Men (but I feel rather uncomforable talking to my friends about 'fit' girls....notice the apostrophies around the word 'fit'....I don't like saying things like that, it makes people sound like possesions or toys) I finally figured out I'm Bi-sexual (I haven't told anyone though). So....I've never really had a girlfriend (niether has he, *hint hint*) but that's really just because I'm not very confident when it comes to talking to girls (and I'm fat, that always 'helps'). I have been attracted to a few girls that I've gotten to know, not by just going up to them and starting a conversation, just sitting next to them in class etc. Which leads me to think I'm Bi, not full-on Gay. In the last few weeks I've noticed I'm thinking about him a lot more, he's in all of my lessons, he catches the same bus as me we have similar intrests....but outside of college we don't really talk,(except occasionally through Facebook) and he never uses his mobile so I can't call or text him. I've found myself talking to friends over the xbox (not him though) and we could be talking about something and I'll sort of steer the conversation towards talking about him (we have this joke about him being a peadophile, which he is okay with - we often talk about getting new tyres for his van :lol But in college he has started to occasionally call me 'dear' (or even 'darling') and I quite like it actually. Also (kind of creepy this one) he scratched his leg a few days ago and I couldn't help but stare as he did so. The title 'I'm pretty much in love' is beacuse when I was reading a post on this site, I started thinking about him, and I started getting a bit short of breath, (and quite turned on :icon_bigg) and I really want to just sit next to him in Chemistry tomorrow, turn to him and say, "I'm Bi, lets go back to my house and play video games and I can hold you and never let go".....but that's a bit much if I'm honest, it'd be nice though. What should I do? I think he's Gay....he acts a little bit camp every now and then and he sort of sounds Gay, but I don't want to be the one to make the first move. I have almost exactly two years to do something, If I do nothing, and he does nothing, I will be doing a Chemistry degree at the University of Sheffield, and he'll be moving up to Nottingham to do food science. I don't want to lose him. I think I can persuade him to do Chemistry at Sheffield with me....or if all else fails I can move to Nottingham to do Chemistry (Nottingham was my second choice anyway, I'm not THAT desperate). Anyway, that's about everything. Hope you enjoyed reading this and if you could give me some advice that would be great.
I'd say the first thing that needs to happen is you both need to establish that you're (also) into guys to each other. Either you wait for him to possibly come out to you, and at this point we don't even know if he is into guys, or you confide in him as a friend that you are also attracted to guys. * Then it's up to him - he could be into guys but in denial, into guys and not comfortable talking about it, into guys and waiting for a hint that it's safe to open up to you, there's a million possibilities. Like you'll read in most of these types of situations, probably best not to tell him you're into guys and have a crush on him in the same conversation. * as much as the "and I hope this doesn't change anything between us" wording seems standard for those coming out conversations, I kinda think it could be sending the wrong message if he by any chance happened to fancy you secretly
Then again, it's always a gamble when you're dealing with these things. I don't want to give you the wrong message but you might want to play it safe for a bit. I'm sure you've read the ol' "bring up girls in a conversation" trick, and I reccomend that for your situation right now. Hope I help, and best of luck! Bye!
I'm going to burst your bubble and you probably won't like me for it, but try and hear me out. You've really described... nothing in your post that identifies whether or not he's into guys. Combine that with the fact that when we're crushing we're wearing rose-coloured glasses, there's even less "credible evidence" to indicate anything. Just because he hasn't had a girlfriend doesn't mean much - one of my closest friends (who I also crushed on rather hard) has never had a girlfriend, and last week confided in me how he's crushing on a mutual girl friend of ours. It's quite possible he just didn't want to date girls before, or lacked confidence, or a whole bunch of other reasons. Point is, it doesn't mean he's into guys. If you still want to pursue this, a good way to start would be to come out to him. It lets him know that you're into guys, and if he happens to be interested, he knows he has a shot. It'll also (hopefully) strengthen your friendship to begin with. And I will say while I get what you mean by not wanting to make the first move, it's a little silly to sit and wait for some guy who you don't know if he's into guys to make a move on you. Take some initiative if you want something to happen. Yeah, it sucks that we have to be really proactive, but that's how being gay/bi in a heteronormative society is. It's up to you whether or not that's worth the risk.
I'm now pretty much certain that he's Gay, and he's invited me to his house this Sunday. This might be a good opportunity to tell him I'm Bi, you know....sat on his bed, alone in the house, just the two of us :icon_bigg. No, but seriously, is this a good idea....? He just turned 17 and he's become really flirtatious over the last few days....and I like it.
this sounds great! talk to him about it, hint at how you feel even & see how he responds. sometimes people just don't wanna be the first to say anything. i really like my best friend & dunno how she feels so i can relate
You still haven't said anything that indicates he's into guys. Take off your rose-coloured glasses and be rational for a second. What happens if you go through with this? Well, if you decide to make a move, you very much risk losing your friendship. You tell me whether or not that's worth it. If you want to tell him you're bi (and that is your only intention), you might want to start by de-sexualizing the situation, because it's written all over your post and that's bound to mess up your friendship.
He was properly flirting with me and two other guys at my college (one of whom is openly Gay, the other....we think so) Also, I told him to take a test that scores you on the kinsey scale, I took it and got a 3 (Bi-sexual...which is bang-on) and I told him my result (in private) and he took it and lied about getting a 0 (straight). P.S. He's a :***: liar.
Today went great, I kind of came out to him....although I think I was too subtle, he also said some things that make me even more sure. All in all, lots of eye contact (and a bit of physical contact) we got to know eachother a little bit better, I might have to get him alone tomorrow and make sure he knows that I just came out to him.
Regarding flirting, he could be flirting as a joke, maybe he's just a flirty person, maybe he wants attention, etc. There's still nothing that means he's into guys. If he was seriously flirting, I'm sure he'd be doing in private as well. Regarding his test, how do you know he lied? I feel like you're still not listing anything that says he's into guys. And I'm not doing this to burst your bubble, but to challenge your view and make you really think if he's into guys or not. Regardless though, you came out to him and that's great. But until he tells you he's into guys, he's not into guys. Sadly we live in a world where you're "straight until proven otherwise", but it's the least complicated way to live if you can accept that fact.
