Hi, I'm gay and 14. I'm only out to a couple of my closest friends and I feel really lonely. I had a crush on my best friend who was also the first person I told. Reason i said had is because we used to always cuddle and i used to go to sleep in his arms... until i asked if he was gay. we are still best friends and cuddle now and than but not as much as we did . Since he told me he was not gay i no longer tried to hit on him. I feel lonely now and a lot of people say that just wait untill you are older because all it is is your hormones but I don't think so.. All I want is to be in another guys arms who.actually cares about me.. Any tips lol.. Sorry for the long speech and i was on my phone so sorry for small spelling. / grammar. errors
'sall good. It just sucks right now because you're on the other side of the truth. Before you knew he wasn't gay, everything was great because you were cuddling and the world was perfect. Now that you know he's not gay and I assume that he knows you are, thing's changed. And likely, they'll stay that way. Your heart is broken and you'll feel a bit lonely, but give it time. Your heart will heal and eventually you'll meet someone new. Good luck, bud.
Thanks. You pretty much got the whole thing.. I guess your right, I just wish it was easier to find people haha. Thanks
You're 14, bud. I can't say I knew any gay kids when I was 14. Any that were out, anyway. Guys will be few and far between probably. Just be patient until then. Cuddling is a little gay though. It's weird you guys were doing that together if you friend doesn't like dudes.
I always wonder about him.. I really do. I personally think he just doesn't want to be gay, or is Bi-Sexual. Most of my closest friends thought he was gay along with me before I came out. Me and him have a really close relationship, were things like sleeping pretty much on top of each other isn't gay.. in his eyes anyways. But i mean, I am not going to go after someone who told me he wasn't gay. All I can do is hope for the best..
Maybe he is and he's not ready to come out. People aren't stupid. If everyone thinks he's into dudes, he probably is. Give the guy time. Does he cuddle with anyone else? If he doesn't think it's gay, he wouldnt have a problem doing it with anyone else.
Specifically with me. And only me.. He would never do anything like that with any of our other close friends.
Yeah you guys are pretty young, your friend might just not be at the point in the maturing process where he is ready to accept the idea of being gay. At 14 he may not yet even be experiencing 'sexual' feelings at all. I certainly wouldn't write off the idea that he is actually gay or bisexual. Alternatively he could just been having childish fun with you while cuddling and will mature into heterosexuality, but I don't see a reason why you shouldn't be cautiously optimistic about his sexuality at your age. You have plenty of time to make things work with him.
I'm not completely over him, but the reason I am trying not to try anymore is because when I told him I liked him(sorry to leave that out), it broke my heart that he wasn't gay, so I quickly ended the conversation after he said he wasn't gay, as I was really scared. May not have been smart to do that, but in the moment I was extremely scared.
Dude you're only 14 you don't need to find a guy. I know how this is gonna sound to you as im writing this but you have a lot of time. You say you feel lonely and just wanna be in a guys arms, but you can never count on a relationship to make you happy. You've gotta get there on your own first and like yourself and who you are. Good friends count for a lot too don't forget that. I'm not saying give up on it or don't follow your heart just don't depend on something like that to make you happy thats all.
When I was in junior/high school I never came across any boys who cuddled or even got very close to each other because they didn't want anyone to think they're gay. "No homo" was a popular term. Then again I haven't been around that age for a long time, things could have changed. I never had this close of a relationship with my friends, holding each other etc. That being said I would believe that he may feel the same, but who knows maybe he's just a cuddly guy! I know it sucks to get your hopes up and then shattered. Girls have kissed me and said they were gay and liked me, but when it came down to doin' the dirty they couldn't do it and would discover that they really AREN'T gay and just were confused or curious. I came out almost ten years ago, but when people asked me the first few times I said no. What pushed me to come out was I had the biggest crush on a girl in my chemistry class so I asked her out! Lol but I agree with everybody else.. you have PLENTY of time to find somebody, don't let this hold you back from having fun teenage years! Ok I think I've rambled on enough. Good luck and if you ever need to talk you can message me
JMS, as a young teenager in the last decade I also never encountered any situations where boys would show any affection toward each other. While girls would kiss and hold hands for fun, for a boy to do anything that would have even the slightest overtone of gayness would get you accused of being gay, which was the worst thing you could accuse someone of and would get them ostracized and shunned from the community in junior high. I think it's very positive that just a few years later teenage boys like City feel much more comfortable as they enter adolescence with exploring their feelings honestly and without fear of judgment, to experiment freely and be affectionate with friends even if this particular friend doesn't turn out to be gay. (I mean look at the sort of homoerotic affection One Direction gets away with today compared to boy groups from the past) This is a good sign that progress is being made and things are better and easier for the next generation coming in.
