Hello, Sorry if this is too long or has been asked before but I need help on what I'm feeling and if this is just normal to think about in everyone's life idk Background. I've always liked boys and only had lust for men. I had my first sexual encounter at the age of 10. (Long Story) Someone my age. Only in the last year have I really even thought about my sexuality as my orientation has never really arised. But since May I kept getting looks from a guy the same age as me. He's even touched my hand for like 2-3 seconds (While I was opening the door he grabbed over my hand) not sure if that means anything and still gives me 5 second glares In the last 6 months I considered myself bisexual. I always? have lust for women and they (for lack of a better word) Sometimes? get my motor running more (Not sure If I feel? lust for women more than men maybe that I've just seen really pretty women with a awesome big ass or cleavage) but I've never come across a man that has really WOW'd me but I definitely don't feel a sexual relationship with a woman Maybe because men don't have any protruding features?. I always fantasise about men and I can imagine myself with a man the rest of my life. Having Sex, Getting Married and even children (surrogate, adopted) with a man. I have no feelings of that for a woman and I have a pretty healthy grasp on my sexuality and I am not ashamed of myself or suppressing homosexual feelings. (Only thing I haven't done is come out) I don't consider myself camp either. Yesterday, So just watching TV (not sure if something on the TV triggered it or not) but I thought to myself about Transgender? Transexual? Still confused what either of those mean. But imagined hmm what if I had a vagina, boobs? And then read a wiki how article (Pathetic I know) it said something along the lines of "visualise your future, daydream"... Where do you see yourself in 10, 20 years. I try to imagine myself as a woman but I only see me with a pair of boobs on, and I personally somewhat don't really. See it. But since I've had that thought, ugh I don't know my sex fantasises for men have reduced I think? Because of this thought that happened and I could see myself with a man slightly less. Maybe because of this on my mind. I read in a different thread recently about her therapist suggest her to just go out and have sex? I am still a virgin (I'm 15 and half) and before this thought my sex drive was 110%. I've been offered Sex on many occasions by the same guy that I had a encounter with at 10. Not Sexual really we just felt eachothers penis'. He's really good looking. But he's not what I'd consider BF material he might have muscles and the looks but I suppose I try and have high morale values (not sure if this is one) That you should loose your virginity to someone you love and you want you first time to be special. Do people really think this? Is this what happens in the real world I try to adhear to it but I'm thinking if I have a sex with this guy I will know what I what and make more sense of these feelings like a girl mentioned in different thread. Sorry but these thought about transgender a still pretty raw. I still see me growing old with a man the love of my life I suppose. I'm just worried that these feelings won't go away. I tried to explain my feelings as much as possible. I feel that I'm only sexually to men and want to be with a man. But this thought of transgender is at the back of my mind. Not sure If I still have it in my mind because its a taboo subject or whatever. Thank you for reading. I'll be happy to clarify anything or answer anything etc and keep you updated (if does become a big deal idk) THANK YOU!
I don't know much about transgender issues (so hopefully someone more informed will chime in), but you can break it down rather simply if you want. To be gay/bi means you have sexual attraction to men. That's it. If you do, then great. If you also don't have sexual attraction to women, then you're probably gay. You could call yourself bi with a strong preference to men. Either way, you like guys mostly, and that's what matters. If you don't care for labels, don't label yourself. Similarly, to be transgender means you feel as though you were "born into the wrong body" (as I've heard it put). You're physically male, but everything inside of you identifies as a female. You may experience dysphoria at the thought of being a male. Either way, for the vast majority of people 15 is much too young to be having sex. People might argue otherwise, but it probably isn't a good idea. And I don't know what thread you read that advice from, but that therapist suggested something absolutely awful. Going out and having meaningless sex will not do much to help solidify where your sexual attractions lie, since the act of sex itself is such a psychologically and emotionally involved thing that it isn't so clear-cut. If you're confused as to what you want to label yourself as, just try running with what you're feeling for a while. You're also 15, it's possible your attractions will change over the years. If you feel like you like guys today, then keep your eyes out for them. If you like girls, then look at some girls. Just be attracted to whoever you feel attracted to. In short, yes, people do wait to meet good guys and girls before they lose their virginity. I'm going to be one of those guys, there are lots of others in the world, and I'm sure there are also many people here who have had non-ideal losses of their virginity. Wait for something meaningful. And welcome to EC.
Thank You, So much. I don't feel I was born in the wrong body. But I know I can't shake the thought of Transexuality in my head. I feel it's always in the back of my head. Since Yesterday... I know it sounds very stupid and maybe I'm exaggerating. But I don't see myself with anything but the genitals that I was born with. Maybe the thought I had will blow over. I'm not trying to belittle those with gender identity issues. But I just can't get my head round it. Thank You for the support. I just want to know what Sex feels like, but I feel beggars can't be choosers.
Hi there, and welcome to EC! You mentioned two important things, that already tell you that you are not transgender. Usually, people who identify as being transgender feel that they are in the wrong body. It is totally fine to have these thoughts, whatever triggered them. Having these thoughts might allow you to learn one or two additional things about yourself. As BudderMC mentioned, if it helps, don't label yourself at the moment, but rather follow what feels right for you. Try to take note of who do you check out on the street or in the school hallway. Where do your eyes wander to? Have you ever felt drawn to a guy? When you crossed paths with a guy, did you ever think: he is cute?
My eyes wander at guys mostly, but if a really good looking girl walks past I'm like WOW. But I tend to hide the reaction from my friends because I prefer to think as myself as liking guys. I call myself bisexual but I don't want to get into a sexual relationship with a woman, but I could with a man. So my attraction to women only goes as far as lust. So Am I gay? I feel comfortable with labeling myself. So what am I? If this makes any sense: I only think about transgender/sexual if I think about it. It not constantly on my mind. But I'm scared I won't to able to stop thinking about it, and be unhappy about it. How do I stop myself thinking about it? I think I tend to overthink things and think about things too much... ---------- Post added 28th Nov 2012 at 04:37 PM ---------- And Also I always check out every guy I see. See if there good looking or not or have a nice ass. Yeah I've crossed eyes with a couple of guys and I'm like HE'S CUTE! and like He's sexy...
Hi there! From what you have mentioned, you already have a good idea as to where your feelings and attraction are. I would encourage you to continue exploring your feelings and attractions and follow them. Your instincts are your best guide. Maybe for now, and even tough you feel comfortable labeling yourself, try not to label yourself. Labeling your feelings, 'boxes' you in, and a part of you thinks 'this is me.' But then something else happens, and another feeling/attractions pops up, which leaves you with the question "what am I now?" because that feeling does not conform to the label you have attached to yourself.
