Hey All, I first off wanted to let everyone know that since joining this site ... I have been SO MUCH happier lately. I still haven't come out, but I've accepted that I am gay and that there's nothing wrong with it. It's amazing that not accepting myself held me so far back! Now I need advice ... I'm right on the brink of coming out. I want to so bad, because I'm so much happier with myself. I'm just confused about who I should come out to? To anyone who didn't read my original story, I fell in love with my best friend a few years ago and we're still great friends to this day. I kind of want to come out to her, because I think it would let two loads off my shoulders ... first off, letting her know I've had feelings for her and also the fact that I'm gay. Lol! Am I aiming too high? Should I tell a gay friend first and then tell her? Thanks for reading and any advice you have! Love, Chels
Hey, Well done on accepting yourselves! I came out to someone I trusted (and I knew before that she was lgbt-positive), if you think your friend is the same, I'd say go for it :icon_wink However I wouldn't know if it's a good idea to say you liked her at the same time, that might be a little bit too much at once to deal with, Good luck!
I would say that you should come out to who you want to. I wouldn't tell that person that you liked them at the same time that you tell them that you are gay. That would be a lot of information to deal with at once.
i agree with these two. if you trust her and think she is supportive of lgbt(and clearly sounds like you do) then just tell her! and just say you are gay first then later after thatr has sunk in if you want to say you like her although saying it at the same time wouldnt be the best idea. i would do it one at a time to give her time to take it all in. good luck! and congrats with accepted yourself!!! i also just did recently and its an amazing feeling
Thank you guys so much for helping me out. I've been so excited about coming out, but my mind is telling me so many different things. It's so scary but I'm really happy at the same time. Anyways, I think I will just let her know that I like girls first. Because as you all said, that is a lot of information to retain in the first place. She will totally be accepting, I'm sure because she has other LBGT friends. She's still slightly religious though, so she might have a hard time processing it. Oh well, I'm ready to tell someone and I guess she should be first since she's the first female I fell in love with and that made me come to accept who I am. I texted her this morning and said, "I have to tell you something the next time we hang out." So, this Friday I'm going to come out to the first person ever. AHH! By the way, this morning she texted me that she wanted to take a shower with me ... no lol at the end or anything. Why must she play with my emotions? Lmao! I hate this!
Yay for coming out! Also when it comes to telling her you also like her, I would leave that till after the 'gay' thing is processed. I don't know if it's the same kind of thing but when my straight female friend told me she 'liked liked' me (knowing I'm gay), I felt so freaking awkward, mainly because I wanted to tell her, you know, "back off, you know I'm gay", but obviously in a nice way and it's not something you can just think of on the spot.
Right, I wouldn't want to put her on the spot like that ... I was getting carried away. Lol. I once got advice that if I was ever in love with someone, I needed to tell them because love doesn't come by too often. But ... in this case I at least need to wait because two surprises would be overboard lol.:icon_bigg
I had a crush when I came out, like a crazy crush were it kind of took over me but I honestly got lost in the whole 'new me' thing when I came out, I kind of forgot about him, I guess the closet just made the crush seem stronger then it really was. That's just me though, I guess I just saw the 'bigger image'.
I think that's the biggest thing I hope to get out of it. When we both used to be "good church girls", we would call ourselves best friends but we'd cuddle every night, make out and all sorts of things that good christian girls shouldn't do. Lol. Neither of us would admit what we were doing though, we just ignored it. Eventually I ended up catching feelings. I hope that by me coming out, I can move on from her. Although part of me wants us both to admit finally, what really happened. No matter what though, I just want to move on with my life and this will be a good start. Thanks for letting me know your story.
I totally understand where you're coming from, me and this guy were kind of the same, I grew up in quite a 'rival' area, where the youth were split into two groups. Let's just say while our friends were always arguing, we just laughed together, sadly there was also a lot of violence, we always stood clear of each other during those moments, we had to be careful because our friends did not like us talking; sometimes you just kind of know, ironically he came out a year after I left the area.
