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Boyfriend issues

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by zzzero, Nov 28, 2012.

  1. zzzero

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Boston
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey everyone. So I have been dating this guy for about a year and a half and I love him. He's my best friend and Iv never felt this close to someone. However, as with most relationships the sex has slowed down and now we don't have much. We never had anal sex that much to begin with, which is okay with me but sometimes I feel like we have an abnormal sex life. Anyways, I'm always the one who initiates anything and when I do we just end up lying next to each other jerking ourselves off. It usually only lasts a couple minutes and sometimes we do oral (I do it for him a lot more than he does for me, sometimes I have to ask). We hardly even make out any more. The lack of sex and passion in our relationship has me really worried. He used to initiate it sometimes and on the rare occasion he would get super into it.

    He also tends to watch porn and masturbate if I fall asleep early. I wouldn't have any problem with that if we were still having sex.

    I have gained a weight and lost some self-esteem and believe I have been struggling with depression for about a year. He tells me he loves me and we talk every day, even if we're at work. Sometimes we call each other if our breaks line up. We are planning on moving in together as soon as we get the means to do so financially.

    But I'm starting to worry that be doesn't find me attractive anymore because Iv gained weight and seem to always be having emotional issues and worrying all the time. He insists that I am beautiful and that no amount of weight can change that but we never have sex anymore. I just want him to get into it again.

    What should I do? We've talked about wanting to have a 3sum but it never got much further than a few mentions.
     
  2. Aquilo

    Full Member

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    Hi. You say you talk to each a lot, but have you also talked about the sexual stuff? Maybe mention that you'd like him to initiate things more and that you prefer to do things together instead of him watching porn when you've fallen asleep?
     
  3. jaysuss

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    I could only hope that he isn't shallow enough to drop you for a reason like that but i don't know fully. Good luck!
     
  4. zzzero

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Boston
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    He insists (and I believe him) that he loves me no matter what. He says that his life has been better than ever since we met. I love him very very much. I'm gonna talk to him about the sex thing next time I'm with him and I want to do something. Not gonna make a big deal about it.