Ok so let me say some details, im 20 in the army and when i got back from deployment i started telling some of my friends im gay. All went well, then came my family and yet again it went great and im happy about all of that. Once i got back to army life where nobody knows about me (and im not sure if i want them to) i feel like im starting to deny it myself.... again. I cant exactly have a relationship while im here well, because for one i have a roommate and the other reason is well, I dont think I will really be able to keep it up if i have to hide all the time. I guess what im trying to get at is that, I dont really know what to do. I thought about telling everyone and just saying eff it... but at the same time everyone here is really close and theres alot of grab ass that happens. so i feel like it would make the whole group just really awkward. and with me pretending to be straight AGAIN! it makes me feel like crap. And i just end up not talking to anyone or doing anything. I usually just sit around in my room and only leave to eat :icon_sad: I just feel lost and i figured i might as well give this site a try for myself. Ive read over some forums before and it helped me alot with coming out.... but im rambling so yeah.. any help would be much apreciated
[YOUTUBE]DVAgz6iyK6A[/YOUTUBE] I just thought that video might inspire you. It might seem hard, but it also seems like you have reluctance to go back into the closet. So it seems like you know what you want to do, you're just nervous about doing it. You're a soldier, you're brave - use some of that courage to just be yourself man. Plus, I'd like to think soldiers are generally good guys so they'll probably accept it and maybe stand up for you too if anything does happen. You don't have to pretend if you don't want to, I believe you can do this if you want to man.
Is there any one of the guys in your unit that you feel you can confide in? Maybe it will help to find one to talk to first and that might make it easier to tell the rest of your unit. I would be surprised if you are the only one that is pretending to be straight.
Thanks for the video. I've seen that one before and it was actually what helped me tell my dad. And I guess your right about me just being nervous. Basically what kills me is I hate change so it makes everything 10x harder when it come to this. I think I'm just going to tell one person and I have a clue who. He's been my best friends since I've been with my unit and he should be cool with everything then ugh I guess I'll have him just spread it or something :/ I don't quite know. Ill play it by year I guess.
I don't think I would want to spread that you're gay around an army unit. I'd be a bit leery in a hyper-masculine environment like that. Why do they really need to know anyway? You can still be yourself without having them know that you are attracted to guys or lying. You could be a bit ambiguous with your wording if it came down to specifics such as "they" or "person." You know the guys better than I do though. If you feel they are an accepting bunch and wouldn't have any problems, then I guess it would be ok to tell them in order for yourself to feel better and more open. It all comes down to whatever you are comfortable with.
