Since verbally speaking the words "I'm gay or at least very bisexual with more attraction to females" 3 days ago, I am so emotional. A part of me just wants to tell everyone and have it out there. Another part wants it to go away. But I know its' not going to. NOw that I have told some friends and spoken the words, I cannot take them back. I don't want to take them back. It's like it all finally makes sense to me. I finally uttered something completely honest and that feels good. But I'm sad at how my family (daughters, brother and sister) will react. That they will not see me the same or will cut ties with me. But I am getting more and more comfortable with who I am, who I have always known I am. I just feel very very alone right now.
YOU'RE NOT ALONE Just sayin (*hug*) But seriously, going through the gambit of emotions is completely normal. Especially when you start to understand and accept who you are. I spent two days just bawling my eyes out when I finally came to terms with being gay, and yes it will be hard on others in the family. In all honesty, you have to be true to yourself, because that is the road to being happy. When your comfortable with yourself, it will show in how you present yourself to others. Your family may or may not come around. *you know them better than anyone* But no matter what they will still love you, even if they have a hard time showing it. (*hug*)
ugh, lady I am same way. :/ I really got torn up about coming to acceptance, but somehow I went thru the stages really fast. April to August? My questioning began January though, I just found the term transgender in April. Anyways, coming out does feel better, but then random fear of what if I am wrong I still not been officially diagnosed by the therapist yet! If I should wake up and say it was al fake, I have told too many, I can't go back. But then I think how I can't be a girl and obey what society tells me I must do, and how happy and contented I am when the guys just talk to me as an equal and the girls giggle and blush when I tease them. I am a guy, I even look like one naturally that without any meds or hospital I can be accepted by others as male pretty easily. If I am happy, maybe it is going to be ok. I think we just need more good peer mentors, role models, peeps queer like us. I really am happy that I met fully transitioned men who have straight gf (or lesbian ones) and go to school, go to work, are a normal man in society. You need to find somebody normal not freaky who is happily living with another lesbian, who has a nice career and home, and kids...so you can feel normal. and then you (and i too) can get more courage to come out to most important peeps: our families. best wishes and do keep us updated.
I was pretty emotional when I came to the realization that I was gay. I cried and tried not to be gay for the longest time. I denied it until I couldn't anymore, but by that time I was already mentally exhausted. I just accepted myself last year around September and I started dating a girl a month later. It felt amazing to finally be out and I felt so lucky to be with a beautiful woman. I'm glad that you have accepted who you are and it's okay to cry. When I came out, I didn't think about my family not accepting me. I never heard them speak badly about gay people (however my sister treated me differently.) I know it's not going to be easy, but you'll feel so much better once someone knows irl. And believe me, you're not alone...we're all here for you
Thank you everyone for the responses. I think part of my fear is because my Mom died 4 years ago and my dad isn't around, so my brother and my sister are all I have, outside of my children. I hate it, but their opinion does matter to me. I've always been the "outsider" in the family and I know this will further cement that. I rehearse it in my mind but I always end up crying. As a few of my gay friends have told me, work on me right now, let the other stuff sort itself out when it's time. And as 2 have told me, the first step is loving myself. Once I do that, everything will be different.
Hope you feel better soon.....and that they are accepting when you are ready to tell them...take care of yourself
Your friends are absolutely right and as cliche as it sounds, it's true, you have to love yourself before anyone else can. Once you gain that confidence, nothing can hurt you and I'm sure your brother and sister will be supportive of you. I came out when I was 17/18, and look how long it took me to finally embrace my feelings. I was so afraid of what people would say about me especially my family although they were accepting. I've read a lof of ”Self-Help” books, articles, poems anything you name it. And they really did help me accept who I am. Along with the support of my wonderful friends.
