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How to deal with the anxiety of your first girlfriend?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by svds, Nov 29, 2012.

  1. svds

    Regular Member

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    I have incredible anxiety. My best friend told me she likes me, asked me out, and says that she will experiment with me and my sexuality when she breaks up with her current girlfriend. And I really do want to go out with her, I'm pretty crazy about her. It's just I don't know how to deal with all the anxiety, about all of it. Because I've always identified as straight, had three boyfriends, and never really thought about girls that way until her. And also because when we were best friends, she left me once. It was because she was going to commit suicide, and she was thinking about all of the people who she thought were going to be okay, and knew I wasn't one of them, so she did it to protect me. And when that happened I was incredibly depressed, because she was my everything, and I'm worried that if she leaves me again then I won't be able to get myself back together like I did before, because I let it happen to myself. So how do I deal with the anxiety? It's covering up a lot of the happiness I have now.

    Thanks for the help :slight_smile:
     
  2. LostStar0223

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    I have no idea, but good luck to you :slight_smile:
     
  3. Adelaida

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    This probably isn't the answer you want, but I would be really careful about getting into a relationship with her, no matter how much you like her. It sounds like she is not stable herself (not a criticism, just an observation), and she could really mess with your emotions while trying to deal with hers. If one person isn't healthy, the relationship doesn't have a chance of being healthy.

    Maybe a lot of your anxiety is coming from the knowledge that you can't trust her with your feelings because she is too overwhelmed with her own stuff to be stable with you. Also, I would worry that she is dating someone currently while expressing interest in you. That doesn't indicate very trustworthy behavior in her current relationship, so it's pretty likely that she won't be trustworthy in a relationship with you either.

    Protect your heart, and just stay friends. I'm sure there is another girl out there who is ready for a relationship and you sure don't want to miss out on finding her.