Hello everyone. I've been crushing on this very good looking guy for sometime now and today i finally worked up the guts to tell him. He wants us to get to know each other first, which is ok with me. I like him. The problem is i don't know how to be around a person on a date. I've never been on a date my entire life. I'm so terrified, i'm literally shaking right now. Any advice would be, very much, appreciated.
Congrats on mustering the courage to ask him out. Don't over analyze this. It's just a hang out session. It's not like a blind date or anything. Just be yourself. You'll loosen up after the initial few minutes
I know it's incredibly cliche, but just be yourself! So many people try to be somebody they're not, they try to be the person that they THINK who they're on a date with wants them to be. Not a good way to start out! If you want him to like you for you, then you need to show him who you really are. I'm not saying you should spill all of your deepest, darkest secrets, but if you are genuine, polite and sincere then that's a great foundation, whether it's for a friendship or more! Most people are nervous on dates, especially their first. Chances are that he's going to be just as nervous as you are. And that's totally ok. You can even tell him your nervous, and he'll probably admit the same (which may ease a little bit of tension). In fact, I think it's a bad sign if you're NOT at least a little bit nervous. I guarantee you will get more comfortable as time goes on, even within the space of the evening. But remember that you're not going from 0 to 100 in a night here, you don't have to know his entire life story at once. Relaxed conversation is much better than an interview! There's no reason to be terrified though. The absolute worst that can happen (provided you make safe decisions, that is) is that things don't go anywhere between you two, and although that may not be how you'd like things to be, it happens and it's not the end of the world. The two main things I would keep in mind are being yourself, and staying safe. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. Trust your gut. Even if you're just talking, if something doesn't feel right (and I don't mean nerves, I mean something is really off) then remove yourself from the situation. Good luck, and let us know how it goes!!
Thanks Sowewo, i guess its the anticipation thats getting me all freaked out. ---------- Post added 30th Nov 2012 at 01:57 PM ---------- Great advice aeva, thanks. I'm not sure, though, on the aporopriate things to ask or share. Any pointers?
I've never had a relationship work, most of the time the only want sex and I fit want to have sex like that! Lol but just be yourself never change for someone they either except you for you else they are not meant for you be you he likes you so just be YOu lol
Just be yourself. Find something to do that calms you down before you hang out with him. There's always a tendency for people to want to impress their date, but stick to being yourself...that way you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not. After all, he's interested in you. Relax, smile and do what comes naturally. (*hug*)
I felt the same way on my first date. I ended up so nervous words wouldn't come out properly. The thing that made the night go smoothly though was to just say to my date "Sorry I'm really nervous about this" and just get it off your chest. My date comforted me and the night went really well after that.
Update. So this guy texts me to cancel (something came up at work). He said he would call or text to reschedule and then disappears into thin air, does not respond to his texts. I wanted to call him but i figured maybe he's not interested (or he might start thinking that i'm some crazy stalker). I'm not sure, though, if i should just let it go or find out if there was any problem on his side. Would appreciate your input
Wait a few days and then try calling him. If you text him like mad and then call, you look clingy...but if you wait a bit, he'll feel guilty for not responding instead of annoyed with you--regardless of the reason. One thing to watch when your nervous, something that I'm prone to--don't spill your life story because of nerves; you'll come across as really needy. Find a topic that isn't personal--political, sports, hobbies, etc--and talk about that.
Just view it as a hangout session, as people said before me. And don't try to dictate it, just let it flow out. And yes just wait for a few days, and say "Hey, Do You Wanna Do Something". It might be a good idea, since you don't know him that well, to go out with other people, or on a double date. See how it goes, try not to be "always" talking to him, and if all goes well. Go on a private date then.
I'm sorry he cancelled. Give him a few days then try again. When you have your first date (with him or someone else), here's what works for me on a first date. I don't like to pick something to do where the whole time all we have to do is talk to each other -- that's way too intense and not a heck of a lot of fun. I also don't like to pick something where there is NO chance to talk. Do something you would like to do to have fun - go to a movie, check out a band, drop by an art show, make something together to eat (if that's your thing), go for a hike or bike ride, or walk in the city, bowling, pool, shoot hoops.... If you pick something to do together where you'll have fun, guess what, you will! And he'll pick up that you are a fun guy to be with. And have fun himself. Good luck
