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Tough time babysitting

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by katmando, Feb 16, 2008.

  1. katmando

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    I babysit on the side for family for extra money. Been doing it for a few years. Its a singe mother(an attorney), and she has 2 kids. The mother knows that I am gay.

    While I was there I was checking myspace page and at not on my page, but on my heading there are are ads for other gay sites. The girl is 9 years old. She was looking while I was on the computer and said to me, and she said gay stuff is gross and its bad for if you are.

    The woman I babysit for once told me if the kids have ever said anything homophobic to me in the past, she apologizes. She said she is very open minded, but there are people in her family that are not so open minded. I sort of ignored the comment, but then we went out sledding and it was sort of getting to me and the girl has said other negative things about gay people in the past and my therapist said its was okay to say this to her(at the time I told my therapist, I am not going to be the gay police, today I felt like it), so I said there different people in the world and its okay to be different. And then I finally said to her I am gay. I know it probably its not my place, but her comments that day and in the past have bothered me some. I told my adult cousin what happened and she told me she is a little too young to know all she knows about gay people. After I told the 9 year old I am, she said:

    THAT'S DIGUSTING!. She said you are NOT. While I was doing this, I still wondered if I should of told her if I was, and I know some people probably think I should not of. But I have no regrets in telling her who I am

    Then she wanted to know who I kissed. Boys or girls?? I said it doesn't matter who I kissed and Its not important for her to know. Telling her I kiss would be going too far, imo. She still did not believe I was gay, and asked for about 15-20 minutes. I just I AM, everytime she asked. And she kept saying I do not believe you. Finally, because she would NOT stop asking I finally said I am NOT gay(I was like get me out of this), I told her I have friends that are gay, and I said its important that you be nice to everyone, because everyone is different. She wanted to know why I had gay friends??

    Again, I have been babysitting for a few years and never once mentioned my sexuality. No reason to. I know a 9 year old might be too young to hear the word gay. But the 9 year old seems to know a lot of negative things about gay people. The other thing is I asked her if people in her family did not care for gay people(re: her mothers comments to me) She said maybe, but she was kinf smiling as she saif this to me

    The thing is the mother has sent me a few apology letters via email if the 9 year old has ever said anything anti-gay to me. She really has not
    (yesterday she did though). I do remember her once, that being gay is gross. And another other time, thats soooo gay(imo, still a little young to use this expression)

    I did feel better that I told her I was gay though :slight_smile:

    Another thing that sort of hurt my feelings. I have always had problems with my physical appearance. Struggled for a few years with this. Lately, its been better. When she saw myspace she told me I looked like a freak. Then she saw one other person on myspace and she said Justin, no offense, but that person looks like a freak. I sort of agreed in my head. I always think kids are honest. I guess I am too sensitive, but I wonder if I am freaky looking

    Justin
     
    #1 katmando, Feb 16, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 16, 2008
  2. beckyg

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    Boy, this girl needs an education. Her mother needs to sit down with her and have a heart to heart talk about being sensitive to others. Since her mother seems pretty open to it all, maybe you should print the article in the resources section called What Does Gay Mean?. Then give the article to her mother to read. Then the three of you can sit down with the child and have a talk. She is not too young to hear this. Her mother can't continue to ignore her behavior. If you can change the heart and mind of this out-spoken 9 year old, you will have an alli and one who is going to educate her friends on what gay people are all about.

    By the way, a friend of my sons' has a child that is just a little older. Her mother called Adam one day and told her the little girl had been going to school and "bragging" about having a gay friend. She thought it was just soooo cool! :slight_smile: