Well, I've been cutting for months, and my parents found out last weeks, but they think I stopped. I'm still doing it, and I think I'm addicted to it. I cut everyday. I also have very bad mood swings, I'll be crying on the floor wanting to die one second, and then talking on the phone with my boyfriend laughing the next. I'm also very depressed and slightly suicidal. I'm paranoid that everyone hates me and everyone wants me to die. I've told my parents how I exactly feel, but they STILL won't get me a therapist, and I need major help. I just need advice on what to do here...
What about resources at your school? You can ask your favorite teacher to lead you to the right person, each school usually has a concellor for that type of reason. There are also plenty of help phone lines for when you feel down and suicidal (or not), it's better to call them than to do things that can't be undone. Maybe you have it rough in your life, or maybe its your hormones, or a bit of both. No matter what it is your parents should definitively do something. It's unfathomable that loving, responsible parents would leave their son to a depressive state without help!
Well, I don't trust the counselor at my school because last year I told her my dad lost his job and I was stressed about it because we almost lost our house. She said: Don't worry. Yeah, that was NO help. But no, I've been to a mental hospital twice for suicide attempts. So I have experience.
This actually makes me really sad to read; I can't even begin to imagine your pain. But maybe you should consider going to a doctor and seeing if you can see a therapist anonymously? And I think PurpleCrab's point about phone lines for help is a good idea. But then the problem with that is that you would always be put with a new person every time you want to call for help. It's not very useful if you need regular help. Of course, you could try to confront your parents again. You could give them an ultimatum; tell them that you feel like you NEED all the support you can get, starting with them. This is risky, but you could tell them just how depressed you're feeling and maybe that will open up their eyes a little bit. After all, you are their son and they want what's best for you
Standtall, It sounds like these are dark days for you. I'm very sorry, I send hugs. My daughter started cutting at about your age. She hurt so deeply inside, there was so much depression, pain, its the only way she found any relief. I don't know what your story is exactly, and I can't say it'll be the same, but it did get better for her. I think for a lot of people, there comes a time when everything seems overwhelming; school or work, family, relationships, the future - it's like there is no control over anything, the world is just happening. And cutting brings relief. I admire your courage, posting about your pain here. From your words, I can read that you want to do something else about how tough things are. I wish your parents would help. But (parent hat here), this isn't something that parents are prepared for and there are not many resources for parents in learning about this, figuring it out. They may not see how much you are hurting, and I'm pretty sure they can't imagine how hard things are for you. Is there a LGBT support group in your area that you can reach out to? That's a good place to ask for help, I bet someone there knows how you can get help. Do you have a regular doctor -- s/he may also be a place to go to get a referral and maybe s/he can talk to your parents to find a counselor/therapist that you can help you work through things. Standtall, there is so much love in the world. You may not feel it or have it right now. You will, maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but you will. And please please be safe. Cutting can lead to infections, scarring, and worse. I know you know that. You have support here -- please post more. Peace, Pete
