I only came out to 6 trusted friends... But one of those friends told someone else, I don't think I can quite forgive him for that... I hate the fact that people know, I can't stand it... At first I liked the fact that I could be me, but my best friend, he keeps talking about it, saying "your mums not gonna have any grandkids" He thinks its funny, but it hurts. I keep telling him to stop, but no, he wont. I'm still coming to terms fully with the fact that I'm a lesbian, and being constantly reminded of it every second of the day doesnt help. The other 4 people are being sooo supportive, but its just those 2 that told someone. I want to go back inside the closet and hide there. It's just making me feel.... sad.
Awwww <3 your friend is being a real turd, tell him that and stop talking to him if he won't stop. Things will change throughout your whole life. These people who you don't like knowing about you won't be in your life forever. Stick with your friends who support you and ignore the rest.
I would also add that this person is wrong - there's no reason you can't have or adopt a child if that's something you decide you want to do in your life. I am very sorry that it's your best friend who's saying these things to you, despite asking him not to. But if he insists on making these kinds of comments even knowing that they hurt you, then some distance may be necessary. You deserve to be happy.
Totally untrue your mom won't have grandkids. You didn't trade in your uterus just because you're gay! There is embryo adoption and regular adoption, and then the good old fashion way... Tell him you're planning for the future and taking applications for sperm donors, and he need not apply. honestly, tell him it hurts your feelings. My guess is he doesn't know how it makes you feel.
I suppose this is part of what you can later look back to and say that the friends who were true friends stayed with you and some others left. Sadly, our society gets hung up on these labels and definitions and your friend may be, too. I agree that if he can't respect your request for him to stop saying things that hurt your feelings, you just need to distance yourself. You already figured out that he hurts you with what he says, now you need to protect yourself in case he doesn't stop. It's totally possible that he's just getting used to the idea and everything will be fine between you.
I was thinking the same thing. I get annoyed with people who assume that just because you're gay means you 'can't' have children which is rubbish. Gay and sterile doesn't go hand-in-hand.. But yes, this is terribly sad that your so-called friend feels the need to be this way. I came out totally and I've not once regretted it. But I have also been lucky that people haven't felt the need to blab my business to all in sundry or harp on at me like your friend has. But I think I'd still wouldn't have regretted it if they had as I needed to be me and so I was ready for any flack I may have got. But please don't feel you should regret this. You are you and if they have a problem with this, then what sot of friend are they? Nobody should judge you for who you are. Nor should you have to justify to anyone. You are you! You are special and unique and nobody has the right to take that from you with bitter remarks. Friends support and love you for you! You are not your sexuality. It is just a part of who you are, like the colour of your eyes! And I shall stop now as I have realised I seem to be babbling! :thewave:
yep, I agree with them posters above. with me I have had mostly positive experience so far. the ones who are bad are ones who are self-centered...they see me through their goggles: if a lesbian wants me to be a lesbian woman she insists i be one and not "make it complicated" that I am a man, if a straight man wants me to be a straight woman he insists i be one and "just need me to give you one good fuck and will realize you are a woman", and the churchgoing friends who want me to be a woman (one girl is secretly a lesbian, married to a guy, and kept hitting on me...akward) and most cases wants me straight insists i am "sinning as the Bible says I am a girl". Where it says anything about a transgender person I have never read though myself and I read a lot. So if your "friends" want you to become what THEY want you to be, it is the same as a girl who says she loves a cute guy, gets him, and then tries to force him to change into a fake guy she makes up in her head she wants him to be. You can't be fake forever and be true to yourself. How much is that friendship worth?
Haha, I found that so funny Thanks so much for the support everyone, you've all made me feel so much happier
I am not really the best to speak on that subject .. just regarding the "your mums not gonna have any grandkids" line s/he said to you .. what makes a family ? Sometimes .. you find people who bear children into the world .. a father and a mother .. and they don't even know each other .. I am not talking about them being divorced or that one of them is a single parent or even that both gave the child up for adoption .. I am talking about 2 or more people .. living in the same house for many years .. talking and living together .. yet they don't really know each other .. the child might have secrets and not say it because he doesn't trust his family .. or knows that s/he will not be accepted in that case .. like some people on this site here .. some of them didn't come out -and maybe never will- to their families .. do you call that a family ? .. people who you hide stuff from and who don't really know you even though you aren't supposed to even be able to hide it .. the fact that the child isn't telling them and they don't have a clue supports what I say .. is that a family ? .. no ... Family means people who know each other on a deep spiritual level .. people who care for each other and make each other safe .. they don't just help each other to survive .. and they don't have to give life in order to be a family ... A family is the concept of love and trust .. the parent and the child don't have to be blood related in order to be called a family .. its merely one of the ways to have a family .. as long as you understand that you will know that you aren't lesser then anyone else .. you can be like anyone .. you can be a wonderful parent when you grow up and decide to have a family if you want to .. and you can be a bad parent who doesn't even know that her/his child is in pain or afraid of her/him ... Obviously the one who told you that does not understand what a family is .. and so obviously s/he shouldn't be talking about what type of family you will have since s/he is an idiot .. don't be taken down by that ...
