I'm a Senior in high school and I have a couple of junior girls practically drooling and fighting over me. :icon_redf It's getting really old. I want to be friends with these girls, but nothing more for obvious reasons. :eusa_naug I've considered talking to them (individually, of course) and saying something like "Do you have a crush on me because you've been acting weird lately," but first off, that's kind of an awkward conversation and secondly, I'm not sure they'd be honest. Also, I'm at that point where I don't really care who knows I'm gay that much, but I'm not sure how one of the girls would take it (devout Catholic in a very conservative community). Any advice for dealing with these girls? :help:
you should probably tell them you're not interested but want to stay friends. good luck no matter what!
Meh, just let them know you're gay, in the end, that's easier on everybody. Does this Catholic girl need to be your friend? Alienating her by coming out may seem unfriendly, but if she has a crush on you, you'd be doing her a favour.
You're well within your rights to tell them to back off. When you talk to them, I would encourage you to couch it more in terms of their behavior rather than jumping to the conclusion that they like you, for three reasons: (1) They might not actually have a crush on you (2) If they do, it could be really humiliating for them to be called out like that (3) In either case, going there could be more awkward than necessary, as you note. So instead of calling them out on any feelings they may or may not have, identify the specific things they're doing that are pissing you off and ask them nicely not to do them anymore. You can take further steps as needed if they don't honor your request.
#firstworldproblems Just kidding, but I would just tell them. You're a senior, almost graduating, and you said that you were fed up with them. Explain to them that you're not interested in them. :3
# hot guy problems... On a more serious note, I think since you're not afraid to let your sexuality out of the bag that much anymore, why not just tell them you're gay? As Ticklish Fish said, you're almost graduating...
I'm going through a similar thing, it's much worse when you're at a primarily all-girls' school too. Just be open about your sexuality, and hopefully it'll die down. I still get girls from the younger years following me into book shops and things but it's best just to take it as flattering and be firm with them if you need to.
I remember back in high school before I was out there were a few girls who had crushes on me. I just ignored it which probably wasn't the best thing to do at the time. Nearing the middle of my senior year I came out and one of my friends who had be crushing on me (a devout Catholic) got mad and thought I was leading her on. Probably about a month after the fact we became (for the most part) best friends. I'm not saying if you come out to these girls this is will what happen but it might be best for everybody to know the truth. (If that is something that you are willing to do)
I agree with what others have said, but I can say for certain that relationships with straight girl friends become MUCH better and stronger and more fun after coming out to them. It removes that "do they like me?" awkwardness factor and really just makes everything a lot easier. So you have that to look forward to at least! Good luck!
Lol! I have had the same problem in past years too. To be completely honest, that is the best policy... Honesty.
Thanks for all the advice! I think I'll start with just talking to them about their flirtacious behavior. If I feel like coming out to them at the time, so be it. True, I've decided to stop hiding my sexuality, but I think I'm just having a tough time figuring out when to tell people. I don't want to make a big deal about it or anything. I suppose this would probably be one of those situations where it would be appropriate. I think it has more been a matter of time and place. Instead of saying I don't care about who knows, I should, perhaps, say I don't care who knows within my group of friends. There are still probably people who would do best left ignorant. Sometimes I give them rides home from school. Maybe I'll talk to them then. Yeah, actually I've been considering that for quite a while now.
(Sigh) Well, I gave one of the girls a ride home from school today, and I couldn't bring myself to talk to her. I just don't really know how to start the conversation. I considered saying something like, "Hey _____, I've noticed something kind of strange has been going on. It almost seems like you're nervous around me. Is something up?" As was said above, I don't want to come across as putting her on the spot or anything. Advice?
If you're having trouble bringing it up spontaneously, maybe wait until they start flirting/otherwise bothering you again and then use that as a take-off point? Maybe say something like "Hey, [Friend's Name], I know you don't mean to be rude, but it really bothers me when you do [action that's pissing you off]. This has been happening a little too frequently lately. Could you please stop doing that?"
Try to bring up points that you can easily segway into what you want to talk about. Like just out of the blue, start talking about what your looking to do after school, then try to move into plans after, then into relationships. It can be nerve wracking, but it's all for the better. Best of luck!
