It really bothers me how low my self esteem is. I do feel like its a major drawback in my life and makes me feel shit and ignore all the good in my life. I also seem to have a voice in my head that constantly puts me down and also whenever something simple and innocent happens like a friend not texting me back for whatever reason, I assume the worse ie they're ignoring me because I'm bothering them. I have hobbies like doing yoga (I go to a class every week) and going to the gym and I've got a group of frirnds.I'm very fond of (but I feel almost too fond because i like them more than any other group of friends-I made a thread about how I feel so inferior to them) but I'm still just as insecure if not more. 1 thing that happened today was that I went to a clothes shop and I felt so awkward. I want to buy more clothes and be more into it (but I'm not going to buy stuff I dislike). Anyway I tried stuff on in the changing room and I just felt so shit with myself. I probably looked good but I just felt so negative with my appearance, I just got the hell out of there. I'm not ugly at all in fact I would say I am attractive but I still constantly put my appearance down. I hate my height I'm not even that tall but I wish I was like 5'10 or something and because I'm so thin I probably look even taller but I choose to be thin like superskinny I seem to use my skinniness as like a security blanket. I am absolutely terrified of gaining weight. My other security blanket is alcohol. My insecurities seem to disappear when I'm drunk my problem is I probably drink too much. I'm not so bad on nights out with friends (but I've had a few bad nights thanks too booze) but nights like last night for example I had 11 bottles of beer and I was just in the house. If I have the booze I won't stop until I can't drink anymore but if I have a smaller amount or none at all I get mad that there isn't more beer. I've noticed there have been times where I've been on a night out and had to work the next morning and I'm still a bit tipsy and I feel so comfortable which I very rarely feel at work but I obviously can't have a drink at work. My insecurity seems to be getting worse recently because I've noticed I've found it difficult to even strike up conversations with my friends. And when I notice it happening it puts me in huge downer. I am a chatty person and when I'm comfortable I could talk for ages but the more I care/want to talk and be interesting (which is mostly with my friends) the opposite happens
I have had problems with self esteem as well. Something that helps me is every morning I look in the mirror and come up with five things I like about myself. It's good to remind yourself of all your good qualities. I hope this helps.
There are times I can't even look in the mirror but on the opposite there are times I love what I see in the mirror. I can't really explain what makes me think I look good/bad it just feel it
I struggle with self-esteem too. Sometimes I feel great, other times like I'm absolutely worthless. Do you have someone to talk to about this? The thing that helps me best when I'm feeling down is to get my parents talking about all the things they like about me, and I force myself not to argue but just sit there and listen. I also got them to write compliments to me on smooth rocks, and I'll dump the rocks out and stroke each one and try to convince myself that the statement written there is true, and then I put it in the bucket. By the time the rocks are all put away, I feel a lot better. (Sadly, I've misplaced my bucket or rocks.)
I mentioned to my friend about my self-esteem. We didn't go too deep into it but she was just like "you do have low self esteem and you make it worse putting yourself down. But what's weird is that your confident in other ways" which is true like I work in a shop so I deal with customers a lot and I do seem to easily strike up and continue a conversation.
Humans need optimism as well as self-esteem. Do you like the way your life is going? If you don't, you might want a plan for doing things differently, i.e. work less or at a different job, hang out with different people, idk.
You need to learn to think differently. Self-esteem doesn't just happen; like any other sort of attitude we have about ourselves, life, etc, it needs to become a habit. You need to ACT like and THINK like someone who has high self-esteem, if you wish to have high self-esteem. In simpler terms, when you find yourself thinking or engaging in behavior that is going to feed in to your low self-esteem. Stop. Right there. Learn to recognize this thinking when it starts and cut off that train of thought. Then, instead choose a positive thought about yourself, doesn't have to be something crazy. Start off small, if you have to. You might feel a bit silly playing this little mind game, if you will... but at least for me, it helps. Gradually, if you really stick with it, you'll find that you naturally gravitate towards positive thought as opposed to negative. And give it time! Our brains are stubborn little beasts, and we are creatures of habit.
I keep telling myself how great a year I've had how my life had gotten better with me getting a job, making new friends, taking up yoga (1st time I've had a legit hobby in a long time), joining a gym (like going to a yoga class it wad something is never think I'd ever do a year ago), actually enjoying socialising and even coming out to people. But for some reason, my insecurities are worse than ever and my self-esteem is worse too.
