I have known for a long time that I was different in some way but have been in denial most of my life. As early as grade 6 or 7 I started noticing guys and always just pretended I liked girls, but it took me until March of this year to finally admit it to myself that I'm gay. Since then I've gone through waves of excitement, denial, confusion but I know deep down I can't hide it anymore. My problem is I don't know why I don't just come out, I have gay friends and all of my friends are open minded and supportive of gay rights. I just don't get what is keeping me back. It has started to feel like I can't have real conversations with people because I'm always thinking "they think they know me but they dont" and I feel awkward being around my friends. I even went so far as to write my friend a letter (she lives far away) but I can't bring myself to send it. I've never been good at opening up about my feelings but I worry if I don't tell someone soon I never will!!! Advice?!
Motivation is the only thing that's going to help yourself come out. And the reasons you just stated sound good enough: that if you don't tell someone soon, you never will. Think about how much you're driving yourself crazy by not having people know. And congrats on being able to admit it to yourself, I'd say that's probably the hardest part! If you got over that, then you should totally be able to tell other people. What's the worst that can happen? It might seem hard to work it into a conversation but honestly just say something along the lines of "So I have something important to talk to you about that I really need to get out of the way" and just go for it. Keep it casual and go easy on yourself. Good luck!
For many people telling the first person is always the biggest jump. I would say find the person who you are more relaxed and comfortable with. After you tell one person hopefully you will have a person to help you next time. It may seem hard, difficult, at times impossible but with every person it will get easier. Best of luck.
Thanks for the support, guys. I finally told my best friend tonight and she was unbelievably supportive and not even remotely surprised and had suspected I might be gay for some time. When I woke up this morning I did not expect that today was the day but it could not have gone any better, I'm feeling much more confident!
I'm in a really similar situation. I've started to come to accept my sexuality only in the last year. I have the same "they think they know me but they dont" feeling you mentioned. I've come out to one friend so far, but I'm really feeling the urge to tell the truth to my family and the rest of my friends. I'm just afraid of how they will react and how it will change my relationships. In your case, it sounds like you don't have too much to be worried about. After reading a lot of posts here on EC, I've realized that in most cases people react pretty well, and that life is much better when you don't have to worry about hiding your sexuality. Congrats on telling your first friend, and don't lose courage!
