So I'm transgender

Hi! :smilewave

First step, since you are certain of being a man, try and get an appointment with a doctor who specializes in gender. You could go see your family doctor and be referenced, look in the internet for trans groups in your area who could name you the best one around and such.

Then, while waiting for the appointment, just take peace in the fact that things are going to change for you.

You can also go and meet more trans* people, hear their stories and coming out, imagine scenarios in your head about yourself coming out to the people who matter in your life. You have the right to take your time on that one; worse comes to worse they'll end up asking themselves because you will be indistinguishable from a cisgendered man.

Also, while waiting for the appointment, dare to make a change or two in your physical appearance that you've been wanting to do. It may be something as subtle as stopping to pluck your eyebrows, change your deodorant type for a man's one, or something as blunt as getting a male haircut. Just to see that one change in the mirror will give you hope and make you proud!

The gender therapist will probably talk with you quite a bit, get to know you. If they are good (like referred from a trans* group) they will have you pass blood tests regularly and put you on T, also they may give you tips for the transition. It may be scary to think of exposing your inner self this way like that but it's very relieving to be recognized.

As the transition goes, there are lots of struggles but they don't come from you; they come from people around you who have to change their views on you. You personally feel better and better as your real self is progressively discovered for the world to see. Oh, the first time you're going to be called Sir, the first friend who will automatically accept you for you and will surprise you by their love and encouragement, the first time a family member will present you as a male relative, the first time somebody will fall in love with you knowing you're a man, and will be attracted by the man that you are... it's all so worth it and you should definitively take that road.

And don't listen to ignorant bigots. All they want is that their faulty idea of society doesn't change, they can't think very far and they certainly can't see the full diversity in our world!
:thewave:

 

I agree with PurpleCrab on everything and offer only my personal experience as, a few months ago I was in your position and I remember how scary it was and how I couldn't even imagine coming out and pursuing this. First and foremost, seek a therapist like PC said. It'll be intimidating and scary at first, but I promise you'll feel really good about it in no time

The scariest part is coming out. I know you might be afraid and think that others won't accept this, and maybe some won't. It's a possibility we all have to deal with at some point. It may be easier to start outside your family. Think about the friends that you're closest too. If they really care, even if they're taken aback and in shock at first, they'll come around. They'll likely be saddened and shocked at how much you've been suffering, and be glad that youre doing something about it. I've told all of ny friends and I've yet to lose one over this. I can't promise it'll be like that for you, but it goes to show how we sometimes exaggerate our fears. Once you have a support base, you can move on to telling the people you're more worried about, your family for example. Now, I'm not saying you need to come out right now, because that's for you to decide. I'm simply offering advice for when you do.

PC made another good point, and that's making concessions to your masculine side, little things and maybe you'll be the only one who notices them, but it will help. I did exactly that in the beginning and it helped to no end in making me feel more feminine. Now I'm making more and more of them everyday. The first thing I did was change my underwear. lol: Ok, that didn't sound right) It was something only I noticed but it made me feel much more feminine. It might be something different for you, maybe something PC suggested, but find something you can do.

This situation is scary and it sucks to no end that we have to go through it, but hiding forever just isn't worth it. It slowly kills you inside. I wish you nothing but the best and offer any help or support I can.

 

I agree, you may start with your friends. Look for one who you feel will accept you.

I talked my condition to only 4 people, and each and every one were very supportive the whole time (while listening to what I had to say, and all the time after that).

While it's true that it is a possibility to loose one or two friends, you'll be amazed at how supportive your friends can be.

 

I happened to just read this and wanted to post it somewhere for others to read, who might be helped by it. It is a speech by Lana Wachowski, a famous director who is transgender MtF, accepting an award from the Human Rights Campaign, at Rosie.com [the blogsite of Rosie O'Donnell]. If you scroll down the page and just look for the blog entry for Nov. 12, 2012 titled with her name, you'll see the entire thing posted. The speech talks about what it was like to grow up transgendered, to contemplate suicide, and to ultimately learn to express who she really was in a world she thought would never have a place for her.

Hope this can be seen and passed around to those by those who feel it speaks to (and for) them.