So Ecer's... I need your advice. I joined some dating site a little over a week and I've been talking to several people online. One of the girls I've been speaking to (well more like two of them actually) goes to my school. She wants to meet up this Wednesday so we can get to know each other. So far it seems we have stuff in common but I still don't know her that well since it's impossible to get to know someone in over a week. She doesn't seem like a creeper (she's actually really cute) but I do have one or two red flags: 1st) she wanted to meet up really quickly than I was expecting. 2) She compliments me a lot. But I mean A LOT... Like she'll compliment me on every aspect of my personality or my looks or whatever. Ie You're so sweet, You're so smart and dedicated. You're gorgeous, yadda yadda. I know this should be a good thing and I shouldn't be complaining, but I can't help but think people are full of shit if they compliment way too much without really getting to know the person. Or that they're compensating for something. I don't know... it seems fishy. She also said she wanted to spoil me since every girl deserves to be spoiled. I'm not sure how I feel about that but I suppose that should be a good thing? Idk, that also sounds kind of shady to me. Am I just being cynical? The good thing about meeting her early on is that I can get a clear picture of who she is and not have wasted so much time talking to her only to find out she really is a creeper. But it also worries me a bit meeting someone after such a short period of time. It takes me a while to warm up to people and trust them, especially on these dating sites since people easily lie about who they are and what they want. Also considering, I've never been in a relationship or had any kind of sexual experiences, I'm naive about these kind of things and want to make sure I"m not taken advantage of. So my question is: Am I being cynical and the red flags I mentioned aren't really that big of a deal at all? Do you think it's a good idea meeting someone so early on considering that we go to the same school anyways? Any thoughts, comments, or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I don't know much about dating people or how this whole thing works so help would be much appreciated
Well, when you're meeting people online you have to be REALLY CAREFUL but from what I can tell, she seems nice. She goes to your school for crying out loud!
I know it is different for guys and girls. My personal experience was not good so I stopped but I know a ton of girls who have a lot of success online.
I've just recently gone on two dates with people I met online. Both of them were, from my initial impression, very honest and not lying in their profiles/during the course of our conversations. Some people just are more direct and may want to meet up sooner rather than later. Not saying there aren't creepers out there, but it doesn't SOUND like that is the case. Meet up somewhere in public. I like Starbucks, because I am, a) a fan of over-priced calorie laden coffee, b) there's always lots of people there, and c) going for tea and coffee seems to be a universally acceptable casual first-date activity. And just go with your gut! If you do actually meet the person, and you get a strange vibe, trust your instincts. I guess the downside of dating sites is you can never really be sure what the other person is truly like until you meet them; sometimes you just need to give it a shot and find out!
I would have to go with HalfInsane here. The more public the place the better. You should also tell a friend if u can and have a word you can text them if things get strange, just so this way someone knows and worst case scenario can "rescue" you from a bad situation...good luck!
Personally, I think when you meet someone online then it's better to meet sooner rather than wait. Waiting builds up expectations. I spent weeks talking to someone online, started to like them, and then when we met there was no spark there and we just didn't click in person. It was so disappointing for both of us. As the others have said, make sure it's public. If you're nervous or take time to build trust then my tip would be to make the first meeting a short one i.e. just for a coffee. It takes the pressure off a little and is enough to establish if you want to see the person again or not.
i know too much about online. i met someone 6 months ago online and whenn we were talking during the summer , she lied to be about who she was but admitted to it and apologized. we have skyped to make sure she wasn't some creepy old guy but other people aren't so lucky. so be careful
I met a guy online and we texted for about a week like constantly. I was very unsure when he asked me to hang out after a week but I am glad I met up with him. It wasn't even a realy date- almost like a demi date just to get to know each other we just grabbed some coffee. In all honesty he wasn't what I was expecting at all and I really wasn't into it. I am glad we ended up meeting up early because I figured out how I felt before I got to attached/ invested too much time. I say go for it!
Seems pretty safe to me. I haven't done online dating in a a couple years, when I did, I really didn't want to have long periods of emails/ texting/ etc. Better to meet over a cup of coffee and know sooner rather than later if its all a waste of time. Being aware of red flags is good, it'll keep you grounded and careful. All the best!
Update: So I didn't get to meet her today unfortunately. We had finals today and she got out a lot earlier than I did. Since she lives farther away, she decided to go home and pack for her trip tomorrow. She wants to meet up when she gets back from her trip so we'll see how that goes. In other news... another girl I met online wants to meet up soon. I also haven't been talking to her for long but we spoke on the phone and it actually went well! My biggest fear is that I won't have anything to talk about or that it'll be super awkward lol so I'll fill you guys in on that. Thanks for the comments
