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Im having a problem with my friend... i need help....

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by jde12344321, Dec 4, 2012.

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  1. jde12344321

    jde12344321
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    Ok well this is kind of a long story but i could really use the help. My friend and I just got out of high school and we moved in together in an apartment. He considers me his best friend and i feel the same way back. The problem is im gay and have never told anyone and i think he is too and i think he knows i am but he is affraid to tell anyone...

    The reason i say that is because the way he acts around me. Like our first night living here he was really tired and fell asleep sitting up in a chair. My bed was the only one here so i told him to go lay down in it and that i was just going to sleep on the floor in the living room. So he gets up and goes to the rest room and i grab my blanket and go to the floor. When he comes out instead of going to my mattress in my room he gets right beside me and cuddles up next to me because he said he was cold. The next morning i asked him if he remembered doing that and he was like yea i know i cuddled with you i was really cold and your really warm.

    On other occassions like for example we have a small 2 person love seat in the living room. ill be laying there spread out and we have plenty of other chairs in the room but he always wants to sit right next to me. and if im spread out he will just pick up my legs and lay them on top of him. sometimes he will start to rub my leg or my feet too.

    when he sees me scratching my back he usually says let me get that and will start scratching my back for me.

    everynight before we go to bed he gives me a hug and tells me he loves me and he is happy to be here. now i know friends joke around about saying i love you and stuff but he isnt joking he is just convincing..

    now even though he is my room mate and we see eachother every day he wants a day where its just us that hang out and no one else.



    Now here is the problem..... he always talks about all these girls that he has had sex with and how he always wants these girls to come over. when were sitting on that love seat close enough to where we are touching eachother i can see him texting these girls asking them to come over.... but then he will turn to me and like grab my junk or slap my ass... ( which he does alot )

    all my friends tell me that he is obcessed with me and is gay for me but i just dont see how this can be if he claims he has sex with all these girls and i even see him texting them. even the other night he had one over. granted they were not sitting like we do on the couch they were kind of far apart but he still had a girl over and they slept in his bed....


    he told me though he wasnt going to have sex with her because she is just a friend...


    so idk what to say.... because i really have a crush on him.... and with all these signs he keeps giving me idk how to act on it because with how he talks to these girls he has to be straight.....

    sorry this was so long.... i just really need the help.....

    oh and he doesnt act like this to his other friends..... just me.......
     
    #1 jde12344321, Dec 4, 2012
  2. Phoenixaaa

    Phoenixaaa
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    I don't have an answer to your question, but awwe, I wish I had that.
    Forever alone syndrome kicking in... lol
     
    #2 Phoenixaaa, Dec 4, 2012
  3. Bree

    Bree
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    Have you considered coming out to him? That's probably the safest was to find out what he's feeling. It would either make him MORE touchy--meaning he's probably interested--or LESS touchy, which you'd just have to accept. Waiting now might just make things more complicated, because you could end up getting stuck in a situation where your crush was obvious.
     
    #3 Bree, Dec 4, 2012
  4. jde12344321

    jde12344321
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    i have a feeling like he is gay but 1 just either isnt ready or 2 wants someone that is the same way as him and just doenst acknowledge it.... he has asked me in the past but he always seems like he is joking when he asks.... and i always just say no. and then he says yea im not either....

    ---------- Post added 4th Dec 2012 at 12:00 PM ----------

    oh and just one more thing to add.... he was just telling me about this girl he was with... and i looked at him and said what is it are you just big or something? and he looked back at me and kind of looked down and said man idk... i just have never compared with a guy before man so i really have no idea....
     
    #4 jde12344321, Dec 4, 2012
  5. Brenny

    Brenny
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    "he has asked me in the past but he always seems like he is joking when he asks.... and i always just say no. and then he says yea im not either...."

    The fact that he responded saying, "yea im not either" is a clue. I'm not saying that is a definite thing but if a guy asks that question and then immediately says they aren't either ... that to me says he at least isn't completely straight. Maybe he is curious, questioning, bisexual or gay. But if that went just how you say it did, it is an indication.

    I think the best thing to do is just say to him that you are questioning or you are gay. I don't think coming straight out and declaring your gayness is necessary if you don't want to. If you take the first step, it might help him come out (if he is actually even gay). If he is, he is either very closeted or in denial for the most part. It could be that you came out to him and he still denies it.
     
    #5 Brenny, Dec 4, 2012
  6. jde12344321

    jde12344321
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    im just really scared of telling him because i dont want to lose what we have right now... like i know for a fact that he will be my friend no matter what because of how much he likes me.... im just affraid that if he isnt gay and all ill lose what i have with him.... idk......

    ---------- Post added 4th Dec 2012 at 11:15 PM ----------

    not to mention he grew up really texas country and religious....
     
    #6 jde12344321, Dec 4, 2012
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