Okay, so at this point I have come out to 3 of my closest friends, two girls and one guy. I most recently came out to the gut, about 2 or 3 weeks ago. Since then, I have been on cloud 9. All three of them took it better than I ever would have thought possible. After this feeling of happiness though, i get this feeling of embarrassment or awkwardness....I guess thats the best way to describe it. Like I want to talk about my sexuality with them!!! I want to be able to just casually discuss which guys I think are cute or not. But I can't ever get the words out for some reason. Most of the time its because we are with a larger group of people that don't know Im gay. But just tonight, 3 out of the 4 of us hung out without anyone else, it would have been the perfect time to bring it up. But I don't want to randomly pull it out of nowhere....I want it to be casual and fit in with the conversation. And at the times where my one girl friend remarks on guys and we ARE alone, just the 3 or 4 of us, I can never get the courage to say anything. And my friends aren't the type to pry about this stuff, so in a sense I feel like I'm back in the closet since I never talk about it anyway. they obviously didnt forget I'm gay, but they really didnt think it was that big of a deal so they just carried on with their lives and didn't pay much attention to it....But I want SOME attention at least. Idk I just want to know how to stop feeling this way or how I can insert some of my own guy opinions into the conversation.
I kinda feel that same way except one of my closest friends(who is a girl) i can talk to her about any cute guy we spent about 2 hours talking about who we like, But with everyone else its akward even with my dad who i told last week i mean i dont really want to talk to him about guys i like but at the same time he doesnt have anything to say about me being gay. In the end im ok with it cuz i can talk to one friend about that stuff at least. Im sure youll find the right time and place to start talking about that kinda stuff with them I usually just start talking about it with her lol
The short answer is: embrace the awkward! Since your friends aren't the kind to pry about this kind of stuff, I think it's going to be up to you to start sharing your sexuality more. It makes sense: their line of thinking is probably, "He's not talking about it, so I don't want to make him uber uncomfortable/embarrassed by asking him about his sexy feelings." It will feel totally awkward, but that's to be expected. This is something new for you. When you try to learn any new skill, do you come blazing out of the gate with the ability already perfected on your first try? It's the same case here. The awkwardness will fade away as it becomes more of A Thing for y'all to talk about teh seksy menz. My guess is that after the first time they'll more directly invite your commentary once they know you're cool with it. Now, how can you facilitate that crucial first time? If you want, you can wait for it to come up naturally in conversation. If you want it to happen faster, don't think of it as bringing it up randomly: think of it as a strategic subject change. If you're out and about, say something like, "What do you think of that guy over there? Isn't he cute?" If it's a gathering outside of a public setting, use someone that all of you know, whether that's a mutual acquaintance, a celebrity, etc. It will become a lot more casual with time, but you just might have to force it those first few. It's totally cool if you want to wait for a more relevant conversation so that it flows naturally, but just make sure to bite the bullet and let the words out. You can do this!
Thanks for the response! I usually prefer to let the subject come up on its own rather than bring it up randomly. But I get so frustrated cuz it seems like every time where I can casually say something about it, I am in a setting where not everyone knows I'm gay. In other words, when Im with my closest friends who I'm out to, the subject rarely gets brought up. Its not like they deliberately ignore it though, I mean my one guy friend never talks about girls so why would everyone be so interested to know my opinion of guys? I think I will tell one of my other friends soon, just because she is the only one I hang out with a lot who doesnt know (so shes basically the reason I can't ever bring it up).
