Hello. I'm not the guy who usually does this kind of post, but I think I should give it a try. And while I do that, I will try to make everything as easy to read and understand as possible. Well, let me start with the background. My name is Ivan and I'm a very shy person, with trouble on keeping conversations going for 5 minutes without that awkward silence. I also don't have lots of knowledge on most subjects that I see people talking about, so that makes it worse. Well, here's my situation: I have two friends. Let's call them L and R. R has been studying on my school since he was young. L entered the school one year before me. We are very close friends, and I enjoy being in their company. But here's the catch: L is R's best friend and vice-versa. That means the conversations "we" have is mostly them talking about a new game, a manga, anime, or something that happened in the past or on the Internet. While they chat, I just sit there, listening, trying to add my own bits to it. Unfortunately, they are the kind of people that laugh just by looking at each other's face. And I'm not. I don't usually laugh at "stupid" things. And everything in their conversation ends with a laugh somewhere. And that is pretty awkward for me, because I rarely laugh with them in those situations. Besides, my humor is something that you need to thing to laugh about it. It's not something immediate. I've given immediate humor a shot, but I really suck at it. :/ Bottom line, I feel left out on their friendship. For example, if R has a comment about something and I'm standing right next to him while L is at the other side of the school, R will leave me and go talk to L. And sometimes they whisper to each other, and I get ignored when I ask what they said. One other thing that happened today was that I was in playing a videogame with L, his girlfriend and a couple of friends. While L was there, he kept saying some things like "Hey, R! Erm... I mean Ivan. Kill that zombie over there!" or "Hey R. Or not. Hey Ivan, do you know where I can get some water?". That really threw me off. I feel like I'm not friends enough with them. And I consider them my best friends. But I don't know if I should anymore. The friendship they have between themselves is far too great for me to join. The worst thing about it is: the only way I can have long conversations with them is when I talk about my own feelings and problems. I talked to L for around an hour explaining my crush on R. And I've had some conversations with R about some other things. But those were the only times that I could consider that a conversation happened. And I don't even enjoy them, because 101% of the times I end the day frustrated at that conversation. I don't know what I should do. Should I just keep them as my friends or should I make new friends and hopefully find a best friend there? I really want to do the first option, because I don't like missing people. And I'm not digging the second one, because I can't keep a conversation and blah blah blah. And the odds are pointing to the second option, unfortunately. *sigh* And if I ever get to make new friends, what will happen to them? I really enjoy being in their company, but I don't know how I would feel if I didn't have them around me anymore... H e l p m e .
You can always keep them as friends and just find other people to also call friends. Just because you find new friends doesn't mean you have to leave the ones you already have. I don't really know what else to say to this. Sorry =/
But then I won't know how to manage them. Will I spend time with them or with that other one? I don't know, and I'm afraid I can't make new friends just because I really want to stay near L and R. I really want to make new friends, but I don't know how things will roll from that point on. ;-;
Back when I was still in public school I had a group of friends from the public school I went to and a private school not far away. I would invite both of them to do stuff together and eventually the 2 groups of friends just became one larger one. You can always try to make and bring new friends into your current ones. I hope this helps.
Erm... I don't think that it'll work out. It has a chance of happening, but I find it hard to happen. Mostly because R and L are very different from the rest of my group. They're very crazy, but they have a level of sociability. And with the people I have in mind, it's like putting republicans and democrats in the same table XD.
