I'm finding every day a challenge right now. Dealing with being transgender and being stuck waiting for some person in London to consider my suicidal tendencies worth giving me an appointment for some treatment is just taking its toll. I'm finally moving towards my goal, but after witnessing a horrid video on youtube about a trans woman being attacked, I just feel as if nothing is worth it. I'm going to alienate so many people, destroy my family connection and so much more. I just feel like it'd be easier to die. My school are getting on my back as I skipped a couple of days because I really couldn't face going in. My dad would chew me out on that and he knows that I'm trans, but he just doesn't understand what a challenge it is every day. I'm just so scared of everything. I feel like I'm developing some kind of androphobia as well, which is sad as I have some very good guy friends, but being around guys makes me feel uncomfortable and sick inside which sucks because I feel like a complete asshole for it. I just feel more and more like I don't want to live anymore and I'm scared of what I might do...
Yes. It is worth it. Everyday is worth it. I know what its like to not want to be here, to fight everyday. But I pinky swear one day it gets better so its about holding on until that day. Once you get there, it is so worth it. I'm always here to talk if you want to. Keep going buddy, you'll be fantastic
