Hi, I won't say my name just yet cause I'm new to this, but I want to share my story with everyone. So it all started when in grade school I caught my dad watching gay porn, I didn't realize what I had witnessed. He was having a chat with another man on MSN that was sexually explicit. I buried this memory deep inside my head and denied what I had known all through high school as well. To make a long story short my mom had no idea and I was the only one that knew. This was really tough on me but as I continued to notice signs of what was going on I finally told my mom. They are still together and my relationship with my father hasn't been the same since. We never mention what happened but I've gotten past it and moved on with my life. Now heres my dilemma. My whole life I've always been on the more feminine side. Im emotional, don't like action movies, etc etc. And its rather strange but I feel deep inside me that I'd be happier if I was gay. Now I've only been in one relationship (I'm 20) and it only lasted two months. I broke up with her because all we did was have sex and I was starting to have trouble finishing the game if you know what I mean. Anyways, I have had sex with 5 women but felt no emotional attachment to them whatsoever. Recently, I masterbated to gay porn, and I have noticed I've been thinking about whether or not I am actually straight, bisexual, or gay. I don't know what to think and I've never even kissed a guy before although I do have the desire to. Can anyone give me some advice? Also, I masterbate to straight porn all the time but it usually involves slutty girls or two guys and one girl. Sorry to be graphic but I wanted to portray everything to the story. Thanks.:icon_wink
First welcome to EC!! I think you answered your own if you have a desire to kiss a guy, then for right now I would not say you are straight, but question. have you heard of the "Kinsey scale" ? if not take a look at it. The Kinsey scale, also called the Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale,[1] attempts to describe a person's sexual history or episodes of his or her sexual activity at a given time. It uses a scale from 0, meaning exclusively heterosexual, to 6, meaning exclusively homosexual. 0 Exclusively heterosexual 1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual 2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual 3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual 4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual 5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual 6 Exclusively homosexual See wikipedia.
I did take the test and I scored a 3. This is why I feel quite confused. I was always told people are one way or the other. I feel like since I've been attracted to girls in the past I must be straight but for some reason I feel like I wanna be gay. Hard to explain but I feel like I would be happier. Never even kissed a man before so I don't even know what to think Thanks again for the reply!
Don't worry, you are totally allowed to like both. =) I thought I was just gay for a while cause I didn't really understand how I could like both...(Although little Neutrality down there certainly knew that he likes both) =O....So I just kind of walk through life with the attitude of I'll date a person for who they are, instead of what gender they are.
You do not need to pick a label not now not ever. You can be attractive to both males and females. I personnel would say I bi but prefer guys to gals. I gave up on trying to figure it out, if I am attracted to you I'm if I'm not i'm not. lol
I think you know the answer to your question. Since you had sex with girls but had the desire to do it with a guy, then you're bi. By the way, its the first time I read that somebody wants to be gay and it's rare(I think)
Well, I think you are BI, but I think prefer guys to girls. It's ok like both sexes, even equally. Finding your "identity" takes time, maybe even years. But, you are at least BI. It is also possible that you have "physical" attraction to females, but your are emotional attached to males (Emotional Bisexual)
Thanks guys, It just seems like this is all so new to me, like I had never really thought about it before. I just feel like I would be happier but I wont find out until I kiss a guy I guess