I've been questioning my sexuality for a year now and it's getting on my nerves , i started questioning my sexuality ever since i had a crush on this girl Katie and at first i didn't know if i liked her or not but i started thinking about her more and more then i started getting those 'butterflies' around her then i started getting nervous when i was around her and what not and ever since then i haven't stopped questioning i remember a girl i assume i had a crush on in elementary/middle school since i would always remember looking at her and getting nervous then i would always try to impress her... in elementary school , i remember one time , we were at tutoring and i was walking with her and she started talking to me and i just felt so happy and fuzzy inside...but i always sometimes thought it was because i wanted to be her friend since i always wanted to be near her but god was she beautiful ...she was so beautiful and still is... there was a girl named Brandi ...my friend Alicia's older sister....i would always say hi to her and i always got nervous around , i remember this one time my mom was extremely drunk (which i was use to) and brandi was sick....so i slipped a note under her door hoping she feels better and she said to come in her room and now that i remember it...i was so nervous ...then i got in her bed then slept there until the morning... again my sister said i looked up to her which maybe she is right... i'm not going to rule that one out. i just know i would get nervous around her but my sister and dad said i'm straight i don't know if i should listen or not. and i know a lot may say "you only know the answer" but i don't....i'm trying but i don't....or maybe i'm just not accepting it...but can someone help me out
Sometimes there are no clear answers. I completely understand that you want to stop questioning yourself but I think, particularly in times of dire confusion, you have to accept that things may take time, and experience, before they become clear. Once you accept that you may start feeling more at peace with yourself. Your sister and Dad aren't really in a position to tell you who you are. Family often go through different phases and experience different thoughts when faced with the prospect that a family member may be gay/bi/etc - the same way the individual who comes out gone through a process. I think a lot of crushes start out as admiration, especially when we're younger, so there may well be something more to yours. You can only follow your own feelings and see where it leads you.
I envy people who have always known their sexuality. For me, accepting that I might be queer is easy; it's the questioning that gets me. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how to stop the questioning entirely. I think gaining life experience helps. The more people you meet, the more likely it is for you to meet people you are attracted to. I have found, however, that one thing that helps is to stop second-guessing my emotions all of the time. I may not know exactly what my emotions are or why I have them, but that doesn't invalidate them. I know that I did deeply care for a girl, to the point that I constantly fantasized about her being my girlfriend and honestly wanted to spend the rest of my life with her (not exactly the most rational thing to feel for someone you've only known for a few months, but pretending like I felt differently won't change it). Sure, that could have been platonic interest and admiration, but I don't see why I should give that more weight than the possibility that my feelings were romantic in nature. I would say that it would be acceptable and even a good idea for you to come out as questioning or to try a relationship with a girl if either of those things feels right. It's okay to not know, to experiment, and to be wrong. As for your sister and your dad, you don't have to listen to them about this. If they say something that rings particularly true for you, then listen. If not, then take their advice into consideration but go your own way.
yeah , the thing with a relationship ....is that i'm not interested in anyone ...but i mean...i'm definitely not going to rule out being in a relationship with a girl but i just don't want to hurt her if i tell her i'm questioning because i don't her to feel like i'm using her.
