So ive finally (kinda) admit to myself that I have OCD and I need help. Ive been in therapy dealing with these issues for about 4months, and my psych told me Im in denial because although I know I have these seemingly uncontrollable urges and obsessions, I dont believe its a big deal. I have this thing about watching a specific news channel at a specific time everynight. (eg. Channel Nine news at 6pm) and I will miss uni classes, or functions with friends to make sure i make it on time. It is that bad. I dont know why, I just enjoy the news and the anchors are really nice people. (thats my excuse). Another thing I have involves cupboard doors, if i see a cupboard door open I have to close it!! (any kind-drawer, pantry, small, big, etc). I tried exposure therapy for this but I found that it didnt help because I dont have a "fear" of the open cupboard, it just doesnt look neat and ordered (i hate things out of place). So now with my family they know I always watch the news and rant about cupboards left open, but they mock me and laugh about it saying things like "i have this obsession with the news" and they will deliberately leave cupboards open and laugh. and im really embarresed and self conscious as is about it, but I cant help it. If i dont watch the news or close the door i get so irritated and angry inside and get these violent urges to self-harm or suicidal ideations. Lately its been really bad, and Im at a bad place emotionally, and im so on edge and over life and just want to :tears: . My therapist is away til the 17th of Dec so I cant even see her again and although I was given a "safety Card" with numbers to call before I do anything regrettable, I hate talking to strangers on the phone, it freaks me out, and my friends are away overseas too, so I have no one. :help: pls
The first thing I'd say is shame on your family for acting like a bunch of insensitive uncaring jerks. Taunting a loved one about something like that is just low. I think I'd try finding some information online or through your therapist's office (I understand she's not there but she must have staff?) that might educate your family about how serious this is for you, and how it needs to be dealt with supportively instead of making you feel worse. Jackasses. (Sorry) If your family has no interest in learning why their behavior is unacceptable, then I'd consider calling one of those numbers you have, even if it's hard for you. It may be a tough call to make, but face it, can it be worse than just suffering alone while your family flicks you shit? Maybe a professional would have some coping strategies you could use until your therapist is back to help you again. Ugh. How frustrating for you. I'm sorry. I hope things get better.
I also have OCD, and people make fun of me for it also, including my family. From an outside perspective, our compulsions are just seen as really weird behaviors or quirks that we have. They don't understand the anxiety that we feel which causes us to do these behaviors. So I know how you feel. When my family make fun of my compulsions, they do it in a lighthearted, joking way--they really don't mean to hurt me--but it still makes me feel embarrassed and ashamed because they are drawing attention to something that is wrong with me and then making light of it. I agree with PinkTractor. Try to educate them and explain how OCD feels to you. Maybe they will learn to appreciate what you are going through. I also get a lot of people telling me to "just stop thinking about it" as if it is the most obvious and easy thing in the world. They don't understand that our brains don't work like theirs; we can't just stop these thoughts. If we could, we wouldn't have OCD.
Just re-read your post. Somehow I missed that they were purposefully leaving cabinets open just to taunt you. That is pretty low. I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, but that is too much. I still think educating them and letting them know why you have these compulsions is your best bet. I'm sorry you have such an unsupportive family.
Thanks for the support guys, I've tried to explain it to them as best I can without getting all anxious and stuttering when I speak, it frustrates me so much! I get they are trying to make it a lil half hearted and fun, but they know how upset I get and still don't help. *sigh* just trying to avoid them as much as I can and not make my compulsions obvious. But it's the worst when i walk into the kitchen while my stepmom is cooking and she has like 3 or 4 cupboard doors open at once, and I go around her and close them but she gives these sarcastic looks and I just want to crawl into a hole and die it's only just over a week til I see my therapist again so I am just trying to breathe and stick it out.
Hi there I would advice you to talk seriously to your family about this an tell them exactly how their "jokes" make you feel in the inside. They think they are just jokingly messing with you when they are actually making you feel horrible, even suicidal Tell them OCD is not a joke or something to make jokes from. If they don't get it, avoid them as much as you can, but remember, they are your family. If they tell you: "Just stop doing it already", "It's not a big deal", etc... explain to them everything until they manage to fit the explanation inside their heads. OCD isn't something you just "stop doing", it's (sadly ) a slight brain malfunction were more/less (i don't remember exactly) dopamine I think is produced and this causes extreme and sometimes irrational obsessions, but remember this: YOU ARE PERFECT. I've been in the bottom of the hole, possibly caused by my type of OCD, and believe me, it's somewhat hard to get out, BUT its possible! OCD can be beaten. I would recommend going to other forums that discuss OCD more for this topic. Greetings and good luck, Kzyol.
I'm autistic, and a bit of OCD is part of the package, so I can really identify with you. Fortunately, my family is very understanding. Only thing they give me trouble about is when I have a panic attack over cleaning and ask them to do it because I can't touch something 'dirty', and they're a lot more understanding about that than most parents would be. But if they decided to do things like that just knowing it would upset me, I wouldn't handle it as well as you are. I mean, I hurt myself if I just get into an argument with my family. If they were deliberately upsetting me, I would be in serious danger from myself.
@ConfuseD Thaks for the advice, il check out other forums. Ive seriously tried to talk my family, but they say "its not a big deal". Im just over it so much, I hate the anxiety i feel as soon as a cupboard is left open or if im missing the news I hate my life and really just want it to end. I just feel like theres no hope for me. @Ettina Im glad you have a supportive family, being autistic has many challenges i imagine. Yeah if I cant "fulfil my compulsions" (as my psych says) then i get really anxious and to overcome my anxiety i get angry and the urge to punch something or hit my head against a brick wall (for eg.). its not fun.
