so im new to this site and i've never really said anything about my sexuality before, but here goes... im a 15 year old girl and i've been, i guess you could say "questioning" for about a bit over a year now. when i was a kid, i never really "liked" guys. i would always feel really awkward whenever my friends would talk about cute boys, because i wanted to "like" someone too and always ended up pretending there was a guy i was into when someone would ask. ive had a sorta legit crush on two guys, but when one of them asked me out, for some reason i just didn't want to n said no. i started thinking about girls differently when i was a freshman. i didn't think about sex or anything, but just knew that i wanted to hug and be close with other girls and sometimes wanted to kiss them. this happened especially at my friend's b-day party w/ a small group of girls haning out in pijamas in a camper, n i just really REALLY felt attracted to this other girl n wanted to b near her. i've never called myself a lez and am extremely warey of lables. a few of my gay friends have suspected me of being a lez, but im still not really sure b/c i still think a few guys r hot. ive never dated or kissed anyone. people have told me stuff like "oh, ive known since i was like 4" or that i should just think about who i want to have sex with. but i havn't known anything since i was 4 and quite frankly, the idea of anyone being "down there" (guy or girl) freaks the hell out of me! sooooo, im still really confused!
I was in the same situation as you. Although I party still am about sexual encounters. It FREAKS me out thinking of anyone touching me. So you're not alone with that thought! But to me it kind of sounds like you may be bisexual, with a preference for girls, maybe? I'd say just try not to rush yourself as you try and figure things out.
I think that you might want to try and just stay calm about it. No one says you have to have all the answers at 15. Heck, I was 21 before I knew I was a lesbian. I had kissed girls at parties, but I never quite got it until I fell in love with my best friend at the time. So, it was a bit of a "Oh, so that`s how it is..." moment for me. I could have crushes on some guys on TV, but it was more a personality thing. I got attracted to certain personalities. Sexuality and love are complicated things. Sometimes it takes us years to understand ourselves, who we are, what we want, and so on. Don`t rush it. It`s okay, either way. Besides, labels are overrated, lol! Life is a journey of discovery. It`ll be easier to understand as you go along with it
I went through the same exact thing. I pretended to have crushes but said I didn't like them anymore if I knew they liked me. I still don't like labels and am still working through all of my feelings but I know for sure that I am attracted to girls. It took me till halfway through my senior year to admit it though. It's ok to be freaked out about sex. Honestly, we would probably be better off if every 15 year old was. Try not to worry so much about that aspect yet. That'll come later. In the meantime, just try to sort out the way you feel. This is getting kind of long so I'll try and wrap it up but some of the clues that I noticed when trying to figure out everything were: -When a girl hugged me or held my hand or any physical contact, it felt more comfortable than with guys. -I found myself fascinated with female celebrities -When certain girls came in the room, I felt electrified like every sense was suddenly more powerful -I love the way girls smell and look and feel. So anyway, those are some things that I found in myself that helped me admit I liked girls. I know it sucks and it's scary so if you have any questions or just want to talk through stuff, feel free to message me. We are all here for you
I couldn't agree more. Remember either way is OK, try not to let the stress of finding the "right" answer stop you from enjoying life and discovering yourself! You never know who might come into your life.
