relationships without sex

i dont really have mcuh advice but heres a hug (*hug*)

most people my age do want sex, but i dont so i just avoid relationships mostly. i know good women who will wait do exist, but i just havent found any yet. or there are the girls who say they will wait but when in a relationship they really cant. its too much hassle for me right now lol.

when i have got into relationships (but not proper ones) and a few months down the line a girl has been talking about sex i have flat out said, well youre gunna have to wait because im not ready yet..... if they push and push then i just end it. which consequently made me single XD

good people who will wait do exist. its finding them that is tricky though.

 

If your partner doesn't respect your boundaries, it's better to be single.

I learned that the hard way, but guess what? I'm single and I'm ok with it because its better than being in a lame relationship.

 

Your Partner is suppose to be helpful and supportive with your decisions. If they don't respect, I would rather be single, like what myheartincheck said...

 

Thats because you want quality not quantity! Anyone can have a lame ass relationship, but you know you deserve better! Good for you!

 

So you want a relationship without sex but you want the sex to come from elsewhere? I would probably investigate why you're thinking like this before you do any dating.

 

While I would like relationships to have an aspect of sex if my boyfriend said he wasn't ready or didn't want to I'd TOTALLY understand and would wait as long as he needed to for him to be comfortable. So you know maybe it's just a matter of asking.

 

If I'm completely honest, unless you find someone who is asexual, I'd say it's very hard to find someone who'd be okay with having no prospect of any form of sexual intimacy whatsoever. I'm sure you'd be able to find people who are willing to wait, but if you have no intention of ever getting sexual with him or her, that would honestly be a no for me.

I don't know if this is about you not wanting do anything sexual with guys or girls, but I think it's safe to assume this has something to do with you still questioning? If so, then I think you should work on that first before entering a relationship. As a matter of fact, even if that's not the reason, it's still a good idea to find out why you don't want sex and love from the same person, like Zontar said.

 

This.

 

I think this is a very good point. Why exactly don't you want to mix sex and love?

 

Wow I thought I was totally alone in this. I also want to wait to have sex. For me a relationship is more about having a connection with someone and not just screwing around. I have to trust someone enough before I can have sex with them, and honestly I just don't feel comfortable. The fact that others are saying the same as me proves that you can probably find someone who will be fine with a nonsexual relationship.

 

I'm weird and don't want full-on sex either. However, I feel that I want a serious relationship as well, and I haven't even been in one before. Not to mention, I'm not even out to anybody, LOL. My situation is just a mess, really. Maybe one day, the perfect person will come along and magically understand me and everything will work out.

BUT, that doesn't seem likely to happen, LOL.

 

Wow I thought I was a lone wolf on this matter too. It's so really hard to find mr. Right in this world it seems like almost no one wants to have a serious relationship anymore rather they prefer something sexual every time. I always have a fear I'll end up a virgin for life because of my constant need to find somethig serious and it just builds up my fear of dying alone

 

You know... I think that it's not too unreasonable to not want to jump into sex immediately. Especially in a first relationship, it's often better to take it carefully and one step at a time and not feel pressed to rush forward.

I definitely don't intend on having sex with someone I don't feel I know very well and who I don't feel comfortable with either. Anyone insisting to rush forward is more likely than not to meet with a no.

And I do think there are people out there who think likewise. Who want to take their time to get to know each other, until sex is just the logical next step to take.


On the other hand: I do think there's no real need to think of sex as something totally different from emotional closeness. It's not as if people are emotionally close when they're hugging in the sofa, and then utterly perverting themselves when they move from the sofa to the bedchamber.
For many, it is just the next step. you feel emotionally close to spend a lot of time together first, then you want to hold hands, then you like to hug, then you like to kiss... and all of those are just signs of the emotional closeness increasing. And at some point, making it physical is very much a sign of expressing your love too.

I'll agree that some people end up thinking that by rushing to the sex they can short-circuit the emotional closeness; Or that they might just not bother with the emotional closeness and just get a night of sex out of it. But that says more about their attitude to sex than it does about sex itself. It's the attitude, more than what exactly you are doing, that counts.


Last but not least: I don't believe in relationships that start off with just a big list of taboos. You can say "no sex before I feel ready for it", and there will definitely be people who are perfectly find with that. But do also remember to mainly focus on what you DO want to do, and use that as a guideline to have fun and develop an emotional bond!

 

This may sound negative, but I look at it as a chore to make my partner happy. I don't particularly enjoy it, but she does, so i do it anyway. It's kind of one of those things, where you do it because you love them.

Luckily, she understands my sexuality, and never had a high libido anyway.

But, If a person you are interested in can't wait, then they aren't worth seeing.