Heya everyone I am aware that i am risk of sounding hetrophobic (if thats a real term) and being sterotypical in this post , but il try not to be. I grew up with straight friends that are all girls , but although they are straight they are also quiet tom boy ish so we dont watch girly flicks or spend hours getting ready. I am know at university (or college if your american) and i am aware that i can be very judgemental when meeting new people, its not that i mean to be its just that i am generally afraid that they are going to judge me because i dont fit into sterotypes. For example i went out with one my gay male mates clubbing the other night and he surroundeds himself with thin beautiful straight women and those types of women really scare me like to the point where usually i would just turn him down and stay in on a friday night , but i talked to him about and he dragged me out. I realise this sounds really silly but i am generally afraid that they are going to look down on me and i never know what to wear to occasions like this on gay night i can wear wear jeans and trainers but clubs on other nights they have banned both those things so inless the people i am meeting are close friends or there is a costume theme i just don't go. Its not just clubbing like i wouldnt approach those type of girls in the day time either i always wait for them to appoach me , i know its my own insecurities i dont feel good enough and i also feel rejected by the obviously butch lesbians like i am not gay enough to hang around them. I have talked to a few gay guys who get where i am coming from they seem to find really camp guys or straight men intimidating. Just any advice or understanding would be appreciated , thanks
They banned jeans on all nights except gay nights? What kind of clubs is he dragging you to? First off, yeah, they're judging you. But you're judging them. In the same way. You're both poking at each other with your metaphorical sticks, trying to figure out what you're both all about, if you click at all. And yeah, you might get some judgmental looks. I probably do, based on what I wear. Here's the thing, though. I've got some beautiful female friends of my own. And I hang out with them not because we look great together - if anything, they highlight all my own imperfections. I hang out with them because they're a lot of fun. And chances are your gay friend does the same. There's something about these women that he clicks with. So when you go out with him, see if you can find what that is. See if you can click with them on that same level. If you can't, see if you can find another level to resonate on. You say they're beautiful, so perhaps a compliment wouldn't be out of line. If you think their outfit is really nice, say so. As far as what to wear, you've got a gay friend who goes to dress-coded clubs. Maybe ask him to take you shopping for something appropriate (and cheap). Lex
All the night clubs where i am uni have banned jeans and trainers 6 days a week apart from tuesdays which is diversity day (gay night out) . Your right about judying each other thats what humans do and i know that i just terrifies me for some reason. It not particular that group of mates im worried about its straight girl females in general but your right i need to find a reason to hang out with them and get passed how bad they make me feel about myself at first. Yeh mayby a shopping trip is order damn it.
