Today I was with my parents to celebrate my brother-in-law's birthday. We decided that we would all meet and spend the day together, plus get some shopping done for the holiday's too. I was with my parents in the car because we were waiting for my sister and brother-in-law to show up where we were meeting and I had a very awkward moment with my parents. My mom was telling me about a women she works with who is a lesbian. The conversation: Mom: She introduced me to her, uh, women, and she introduced her as her wife. If she identified her as the wife that would make her the husband wouldn't it? Me: No, she would be her wife too. Mom: I wouldn't actually say anything because I might say the wrong thing, but if one of them is the wife then the other is the husband. Dad: That is how I have always seen it. Me: No, they would both be the wife. I don't know why this has lingered in my mind all day, maybe because my brother-in-law does gay bashing on a regular basis, so I heard that afterward too. But I still feel like I made a mistake by saying that. Did I do something bad?
What would you have done wrong? I see nothing wrong with this at all. You were polite, but you made an important point...that marriage doesn't have to fit the normal sterotypes...meaning a "husband" and a "wife." I wouldn't worry about it.
I feel like I should have said nothing, probably my in the closet complex or something but I feel like I made the wrong decision.
I would have thought the same thing for years and would have avoided the conversation - as soon as you make a comment in that direction you're afraid you've given away hints, afraid that the next reply is gonna be "the big question" or some derivative. Fortunately many straight people are too oblivious to read anything into it .
You did nothing wrong, and said nothing that any reasonably politically and socially aware person of your generation couldn't have said, no matter their orientation.
I guess that makes sense. But is it possible that I put my foot in my mouth? I have given up wanting to tell them, I feel like I have really made a mistake.