OK, I know I am comfortable with it, but four times in the past week, people have accused me of being gay when I was out with someone who isn't gay. Maybe my new short haircut, European glasses and skinny jeans make me look more gay, but I am wondering what has triggered the reaction? I'm not trying to look gay, so what signal am I sending where someone would ask in a bar. Three times women have asked if we were a couple when I was out with a straight friend. Should I dress differently of just be comfortably with looking gay to some people?
I can guess that the majority of the time it won't be due to appearance, but due to signals. I.E flailing hands, "bitching" like stereotypical girls do at sleepovers, people noticing you checking out guys etc. I can understand your distress, while being gay isn't something to be ashamed of, people asking you if you are gay is somewhat offensive, as they don't have to know, they're merely guessing based on what they have seen, and most of them guess on somewhat offensive grounds. All the best.
Well, whether you want to change the way you look depends on one thing. Whether you want to say yes or no to the question. But there is nothing wrong with looking gay. So unless you are worried about people finding out, just be what you are.
I personally would say (and this is from advice I've been given). Dress in what makes you feel good, act however makes you happy, and just be yourself!
I was out last night with a friend who is definitely not gay and has no clue I am, but was asked by a young attractive woman if I was gay and if we were a couple. Had he not been there, I probably would have had a more direct conversation as to what is was that made her ask. Instead, I asked her if she was gay and if they (she was with another woman)a couple. But I've been asked a few times recently. The next time, I may answer maybe or yes to see what happens. I was more uncomfortable for my friend last night. And I'm still only out to a handful of people.
The same thing has been happening to me, The past few weeks everyone seems to be lasking me if i'm gay. I haven't been doing anything different, lol. Soon I will be able to say yes.
this happens to me as well. i don't like it, i think it's rude - my sexuality is not random strangers' business. for myself, i'm not camp but i'm shy and act timid at times, and i think that's what does it. maybe think over how you act...
When i was around 13 or 14... few of my classmates used to ask me the same thing, and i used to wonder what might be triggering their curiosity... and this one time when i saw myself in a video of my cousin's wedding and that's the time i realized that, I in fact had some hand movements which were definitely what someone would say gay... however i eventually stopped behaving like that, never tried to change. it just happened. no one asks me those things anymore.
Of course you don't "act" gay you ARE gay. My personal favorite response when guy's ask me that is "Why? Are you interested?"....never had a girl ask me that though
