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'Those' comments...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by GayforGuys, Dec 9, 2012.

  1. GayforGuys

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    I'm talking about those little comments like, "Have you got a girlfriend yet".
    I was talking to one of my mum's friends yesterday and she came out with that, She doesn't know I'm Gay, and I was just like :eek: ummmmm, nah.
    And then I was playing with my nephew and he started crying and my mum said "This is why you shouldn't have kids" in a joking way, but still I felt so so so akward!

    So, how do you deal with these comments, did you ever say anything - if you weren't out the closet at the time?
     
  2. Yup. My parents keep cooing me about how they want me to get married and raise a family. I usually try to brush it off quietly.
     
  3. Lewis

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    I used to get those all the time, less now that I'm older - maybe they're slowly getting the clue?

    You just have to carry on what you're doing, say nah or just laugh it off. :slight_smile:
     
  4. amoore658

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    I get those regularly... As my dad has been divorced FIVE times, I say: "Meh I just don't want to end up like my dad...I'm waiting until I find the one"

    Mind you, when those questions are asked - they're usually hinting that they know...
     
  5. Lewis

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    Do you think so? I hope that's the case with my parents. Why would they want to make it harder by asking about girlfriends though, wouldn't it be better to hint about a boyfriend? :/ :confused:
     
  6. At my last family reunion, I was asked it I had gotten a boyfriend yet about 8 times. It was ridiculous.
     
  7. amoore658

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    @Lewissss

    Personally with me, my mum has asked that question about... 1000 times. She almost seemed desperate for me to get a girlfriend. Then, the other night, she "dropped the bombshell"

    [I'm quoting her] "So, when are you going to bring home a nice girlfriend?..........It's not going to happen, is it?..........Are you gay?"

    The way she worded it made me feel sick i.e. "nice girlfriend"... But, yeah, from my experience, when they ask... It usually means they're thinking you're gay, but they're in denial themselves, and they're hoping you'll alleviate [sp?] their concerns by saying you do have a girlfriend... Personally, a word of advice...Don't be to shocked if or when they ask if you're gay.

    But, don't feel forced to come out. Only do it when you're ready :slight_smile: x
     
    #7 amoore658, Dec 9, 2012
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2012
  8. Zendlar

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    Mine was the other way, my parents always asked if I was gay. Not trying to poke fun or anything like that. But just out of curiosity, I don't know if it was there way to push stuff so I wouldn't "be gay". But I know I like people, yummy delicious people,and I don't know if I'm a guy or a girl....it's really confusing LOL.
     
  9. amoore658

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    It's a bit like, when people at school (to be annoying) ask a question when they already know the answer... Parents are just the same lol x
     
  10. BudderMC

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    That's funny. At the last family wedding I went to, my parents asked my cousin if he found a girlfriend yet. He took that opportunity to come out to them. :grin:
     
  11. Pat

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    I can imagine it's impossible to get by as an only child if your parents are the least bit attentive to you. lol. I'm one of two and my bro just had his first son a couple of days ago and I can literally feel the heat on my neck with my other family haha. Wondering when I'll settle down. I'm 22 now and he's 27.. I'll just get my first boyfriend at some point and bring him around. Fuck it. lol.
     
  12. Asari

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    Ahh man i totally know how you feel. Every time I see my grandma she grabs me by the shoulders, stares me straight in the eye, and says, "you find yourself a nice doctor or med school boy at that school of yours you hear?" I just laugh and think to myself, "sure I'll find myself a nice GIRL"
     
  13. Given To Fly

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    I guess if you find a female doctor you're halfway there, right? :icon_bigg
     
  14. Asari

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    haha that's what I figure. I've never asked my grandma about what she thinks about gay marriage. She's liberal but that doesn't mean she would support ME being gay. She really wants me to have a big wedding and lots of kids. :/
     
  15. Thyker

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    I absolutely hate this question and I am asked it all the time.

    When people ask me the girlfriend question, I'm filled with anxiety and start to act funny. I've never had a girlfriend in my life. I've only been on one date with a girl before. I'm pretty sure they're either thinking I have issues talking to girls (which I do not have at ALL) or I'm gay. I'm pretty sure, though, I'm not fooling anybody with my answer. I usually just tell them that school and work is taking up my time and I do not have time to focus on a relationship. It's kind of funny because I am dying for a relationship, but not with a girl. :dry:

    My grandma asks me this every time I visit. Last time she got me in a bind though. I replied with my normal answer and she said, "Oh, I know that, but there isn't any girl you have your eye on at all?" I didn't know what to say so I just said "No." and she said "Well, I know you will find yourself a nice doll someday." Awkward...

    I wish I could just tell them to end the madness.
     
  16. shy

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    I was like "no women of my type around." and similar answers. Technically, "I don't have a girlfriend" never was a lie to me and I got used to it.

    Situations I have more problems with are like when my sister tries to make me laugh about gay-jokes and when she fails she keeps repeating the "facts" as if as I didn't get the concept.
    Sometimes I'm pretty close to tell them in such an explicit manner so they just shut up.
     
  17. Josclare

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    i was talking to my dad about what id been doing this week i mention id gone clubbing with a guy and his mates and he suddenly starts asking about the guy who is gay and then i say i was hanging around a mates house and stayed up talking to her for hours , i find it funny that its the guy hes worries about especially as i was smiling at the other end of the phone as i talked about the girl. When he talks about men or grandkids i usually just say there not my type or theres no one im interested in without using gender specific words or i push into my sister saying shes the oldest she should be the first to settle down which i am awarew is kinda mean but its not likes shes in the country to argue
     
  18. Lewis

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    I actually want them to ask! It'd make coming out so much easier, so sooner they ask the better. Any tips on making them more likely to ask? Should I hint? Idk
     
  19. well , i mean l'm still questioning but i've been thinking about girls a lot and my dad asked and he was like "why don't you find a nice boy?" and i was like "no" and i just told him "i don't want a boyfriend right now" , and was like "what are you , a full blown lesbian now?" , i should have said "would there be a problem if i was?"
     
  20. MusicMan

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    I still get asked this a lot. For me it has typically been people I don't see often such as distant relatives or family friends. But for those I am closer to and see more often, they never mention anything about girlfriends, relationships, kids, grand kids, etc. or me starting a family. Most of them do not know I'm gay, but sometimes it seems that they know based on their avoidance of these topics with me even though they so openly ask my cousins and my sister about their personal lives and relationships. Perhaps I'm reading in to it too much....or perhaps one of the few people inside my family I have told, can not keep a secret. I suspect the latter... :wink: