Hi everyone, Firstly, I've just joined the forum I'm 19 and from the UK. Anyway, I'll try and keep this as short as possible... I have a boyfriend at the minute (just over a week). I'm not out to my parents (my dad would, literally kill me if he knew, but my mum should be OK). Anyway, since I started dating my boyfriend (I'll call him ABC for argument's sake), my mum's suspicions have been growing... She asked me [after I left my FB on] if I was gay. She then continued with a ... lecture of sorts, saying "life is difficult enough when you're normal, but when you're not..." etc. Between Thursday night and last night, she seemed perfectly happy with me, so "being mean" etc. But then, last night when she collected me from hospital (I'm a Physiology student and I'm in the hospital for placements) I said I was going to meet my friends in their town (about 10 mins from mine). She then said: "To see your boyfriend?" ..to cut a long story short, I'd left my Facebook logged on, she saw all my messages to him, she saw it said I was in a relationship with him etc. Because her mannerism seemed so hostile, I told her "she saw wrong", to which she said, she "hoped [she] did". That annoyed me, and I said: "Why would you care if I was?" and she was like: "Well, I'd just have to accept it and move on". My cousin is also a gay man, and she said: "It must be in the genes" to which I said [sarcastically] "A career in Biology is obviously not on your horizon" :lol: Basically, how did she expect me to come out when she displayed such hostility? Her attitude also confuses me, as she's known as a "fag hag" (has many gay friends) so why is she seemingly so angry at me? My boyfriend is also stressing me out - he's clingy, jealous and proud of it, doesn't seem to like socializing (I LOVE clubbing etc), and frankly - he's almost forcing me to come out... I don't know what to do :/ The fact I'm doubting our relationship probably speaks volumes... If you need any more info, just ask Thank you so much for your help and time (*hug*)
Welcome to EC! Two main thoughts: Re: Your mom - I don't know your mom and I wasn't in the car with you, but try and think objectively for a second... is it possible she seemed hostile because you weren't in control of the situation, but she actually wasn't being hostile? The only reason I ask is because when we're placed on the defensive, everyone else is automatically on the offensive, if you get what I mean. She's already indicated she'd be fine with it if that was the case, so I don't think she's necessarily upset about it. Re: Your boyfriend - You've only been dating for a week. If you aren't comfortable with him, call it off. At the very least, talk with him about your thoughts. Communication is the key to all relationships and this is no exception. Friendly support and gentle push to get you to come out might be okay, but if it's making you uncomfortable you need to let him know that. But yes, if you're not liking some of his behaviours and it's only one week in, it might be worth evaluating whether you really want this to continue anywhere.
