BORN vs CHOICE

from what i have read others saying many felt homosexual feelings of some nature at a very young age, so figure it must be part of the package.
and others said they were contentedly straight...until one day somebody kissed them and they began to feel stuff and fell in love and decided it was ok to be gay.
while others say they can choose to act upon their wants or choose to not...as in cases where they got married already and figured out they were gay later and choose to not divorce, because they do love their spouse and family, so they choose to not seek a more natural gay partner for their reasons.

that is what i have seen others say.

 

Why would anybody choose to be LGBT? Why would someone choose to have to deal with all of the crap that society puts us through, and to be ostracized from friends and family? Most of us did everything possible to convice ourselves that we weren't gay. There are kids who took thier own lives because they didn't want to be gay. The people who believe it was a choice are straight people who have no idea what's its like to be LGBT.

 

I chose to be gay today, I think I'll be straight tomorrow; I think I''ll also choose to be a little bit taller...

 

Bahaha! I just had a funny thought: Be Straight Day! All gays worldwide, fully out and flamers too, act totally straight that day, but all straights have to leave them alone the other 364 days of the year.
Be GAY Day would be funny too.

 

That sounds like a great idea. We should get someone on that right now...

 

Strident, I want to very gently disagree. Those of us who believe it is a choice (for us personally!!! Not for everyone!!!) may be an extreme minority but we do exist. I had no feelings of same-sex attraction until I was 45 years old. No doubts at all that I was straight. Then I met one specific woman, and it all changed. I choose to lose my "straight privilege" in order to be in some sort of a relationship with her, and no, it isn't easy. I will stay with her as long as she will have me. If things were to end with her, I would choose to go back to heterosexual relationships, because all things being equal, it is much simpler and infinitely easier.
For a few of us, the choice lies in the fact that we can make it work with either gender, and so we can choose what gender to pursue relationships with. I think we are the very lucky ones.

 

^ this is what i was saying. I read abt a guy did similar thing. if you love a soul, you can choose to love the person no matter what the body. i think I'm mostly straight but a bit bi, cuz i like a guy. i think some are straight but find one person who is special that they will opt to be gay with because they are worth it.

 

I think DeafNotBlind summed it up perfectly--it can be one *specific* person who can cause feelings powerful enough to make someone choose to enter a same sex relationship.

Fate,
For me, yes, it was a choice. The feelings I had for her were very powerful, but I could have chosen to not act on them, and not had the fear that I would be alone for the rest of my life. I have no idea what your age is, but given the average age of most members here, I have possibly been in relationships with men for longer than you have been alive. To suddenly be in a same sex relationship was such a vast, life altering change that it had to be a conscious choice, in order to accept the consequences of it, and go in with my eyes open.
If I can ask, are you trying to determine if you have a choice to make for yourself?

 

To imply that it's a choice also implies that, under conventional understanding of sexuality, that everyone is inherently bisexual and that you "go with" one or the other. Would you agree this is the case? Not skeptically questioning or anything, I've suspected this same thing given what I've seen.

 

There's a movement within feminism called political lesbianism, which posits that women of all orientations should seek out only female partners for their romantic and sexual relationships. This is because they perceive such a huge imbalance between men and women that they don't believe an equal partnership is possible.

More generally, early in the history of the queer movement, the idea that it was a choice was quite popular, a lot of people felt like embracing an alternative sexuality was an act of defiance against and liberation from oppressive gender roles.

 

Usually when I read an individual describing that it is a choice that they made, they are promoting the idea of innate bisexuality but state that they themselves strongly prefer the opposite gender. People that promote innate bisexuality often cite Kinsey and/or Freud.

Personally, I was born with feelings for people regardless of their gender. There are several theories about why someone is LGB and no one knows for sure what causes people to be LGB but the general consensus as of right now seems to be that it is based on a combination of genetic and environmental factors. I tend to agree with the following website.


This website has a lot about orientation

 

I think a lot of the more sciency stuff done around homosexuality implies that homosexuality isn't a choice. Our brains seems to be wired a bit differently than those of heterosexual peoples. I certainly never remembered choosing my sexuality. Some people might insist its a choice, and if it is for them, then that's great: I'm glad they make awesome choices. I just didn't choose anything.

 

i like that theory, but it is probably wrong

 

I think that I was born this way. I've always remembered being different from other people. In fact, one teacher called my parents because they were concerned with how masculine I am. I also always remember connecting better as friends with guys. I am romantically attracted to women.

 

The only answer on such question for me is I choosed to be born as gay person.
Because feelings is part of our nature so we were born with them but actions is part of behavior and education that's why I can't devide my soul from my mind

 

Well you do realize that usually the people who are saying it's a choice are close minded heterosexuals.
Curiosity is different than choosing. Choosing just means everyone can be gay or straight; and you can just wake up one morning saying "I think I'll be gay today...or perhaps trans or maybe just stay straight...hmmm...decisions, decisions." And well, if that were the case then homosexuals proooobably wouldn't be saying they were born that way.
Curiosity is just well..curiosity. Bicurious people are just people who show some curiosity towards what it'd be like to have a relationship with the sex they do not favor. They can be gay or straight and they're not bisexuals either.