So the other day I was talking to my sister, and she said she thought the guy that plays carlisle in twilight was handsome, so I just said he looked funny, but wouldn´t say he´s handsome, but she started defending him so much!! and she said he was like 30 years old, so I said he looked older, and that he was about Ryan Reynold´s age then, and Ryan is much more handsome... yea I said that... but she was like "Ryan is not that good looking" and I went a little cazy :icon_redf I said he was very handsome and he had a great body, much better than the other guy... :icon_redf The thing is, as I got carried away witht he debate and said this, my sister gave me this horrible look of disgust, and I tried to cover it by saying something else, but imagine if I told her I was gay.... she would forever look at me like that, or I would never be able to talk about it, so.... why should I even bother telling her in the first place?? :dry:
Truthfully, if she's going to give you that look of disgust regardless of whether you're out or not, I'd at least like to receive that look while being honest with myself. At least that way you can be happy when you find other people who do like you for you.
it sure is scary telling peeps you love who you really are, fearing to lose the love forever. i hope it goes well with you whatever happens.
Kyle, do you have some unrealistic fears about coming out? This is just like the situation with your parents...
Why are you afraid to come out to your sister? You're afraid that she'll forever see you as disgusting? Seems highly unlikely. Not trying to be rude, just curious.
Actually I am afraid of that, and that maybe she won´t want to talk to me anymore, and I get along with her very good, and yes I guess its the same situation with my parents. Its just i have had many opportunities to tell them, and when Im really about to do it, these thoughts come into my mind, I feel my life would change radically from one minute to another, and not necesarily in a good way :icon_sad:
Well, from this interaction with your sister, she doesn't seem that pleasant. As for your parents, think about it this way: yeah, things might change, but you're already unhappy now. What do you have to lose?
She's your sister, I doubt very seriously that she will stop talking to you. And judging by the hint you let slip to her already, she probably has an idea that you're gay already. And as for you're parents, its just like chip said in the other thread you made, they already know without a doubt that you are gay. It's not fair to them and its not good for yourself to stay in the closet. Look man, I know thinking about coming out brings with it some pretty shitty fears about how people will react to the news. But your parents already know and the sooner you come out the sooner you and everyone else will stop being miserable. Life goes on and you can stop hiding and being paranoid about how people will react.
Well she´s pvery pleasant in general, in fact she´s a great person, the type that almost (yes almost) doesn´t judge people, and is nice to everyone, I don´t know why if someone´s gay everything changes. That´s the part that worries me, I mean imagine if she´s so good with people, but so homophobic, why would she stop being homophobic for me? I mean maybe she would learn to live with it, but nothing would be the same :icon_sad: Im really really sorry guys for being this insecure, I feel like you guys are starting to hate me lol I promise Im trying, I really want to do something about it, and I know its not impossible because when I first came to this site, I would never have imagined I would come this far, the fact of saying I was gay was repulsive and frightening to me. Its just that this seems like alot, and it scares me to death. Again I apologize if Im being too annoying... but this is the only place where I can talk about these things.... I mean I had to tell someone about my clumsiness of saying Ryan Reynolds was hot thx for reading and for answering it means alot to me
Nobody thinks you are getting annoying. We just want you to realize that you're parents obviously know already and that you're sister isn't suddenly going to stop talking to you. You'll learn that being gay isn't as big a deal as you think it is. As soon as you come out you'll realize that things don't change much, aside from the fact that you don't have to hide anymore.
Is your sister younger than you? She may just need to grow up still. Honestly, my little sister looks at me weird when I talk about girls, and I'm completely out. It takes a certain emotional maturity to be able to understand, and she's not there yet. She DOESN'T look at me that way the rest of the time, and she always wants to come visit me. She doesn't understand, but she also doesn't care. Maybe you're not giving yours enough credit.
I imagine if you told her you were gay she might actually be able to deal with stuff like that a lot better. She might be disgusted for a while but she will eventually have to accept your orientation, and then the "shock factor" that comes with hearing you talk about the attractiveness/unattractiveness of men will be gone.
Hi Kyle,after reading several of your threads about coming out to your family,or the lack of,I am really feeling sorry for you.You absolute fear of coming out and upsetting your family must be playing havok on your mind and mental health. After reading your posts it seems quite obvious that your parents "know" and just need a confirmation from you.I would guess that is the situation with the whole family. I would advise you to look at this from a differant perspective-: Coming out is for YOU,so that you can live an open and honest life and not be afraid of who you are.We all just have to hope that we are going to be accepted when we come out,but just remember if anyone has a problem with it,then that is their problem and not yours. I feel that your family has "known" for long enough to have come to terms with it,so you really need to find a way to come out and put all of this worry behind you.Just remember that you are coming out for YOU and you will feel better for doing it. Good luck
Kyle, In the realm of "your story" here's the good news! You're "normal!!!" Here's the other good news. If "Fear" did not play the "Single Greatest Role" then well.........this website would cease to exist! Lol! Fact is, Fear is the SpringBoard you need, for when it gets "So bad we just can't take it anymore", Trust Me - You will Bust down those doors!! You want to be liked right?? I get it it! So do all of us. Just 'get this now' and you'll do so much better.............not everyone is going to like you! This thought alone will also give you a 'reality check and the strength to accept and love yourself for you!' Once you agree ' hey, I'm a pretty great guy and I accept that not everyone's going to like me' ( including your sis ) you will have the strength to move thru this process. No it's not easy but you can do this now or you could do what I did ( Wait.......Don't Do That! and come out when your 42! ) "The Truth Will Set You Free!" Now get Busy! Hugs! Suede7
