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Transgendered friend

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Rin, Dec 10, 2012.

  1. Rin

    Rin
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    My friend told me she (he?) wants to be a man. I knew this already, but she (he?) is having real difficulty with this. They asked their mother about cross-dressing, but she flipped out at them about how it was "unnatural" and when they put a breast-shrinky thingy on their christmas wishlist she freaked. They are only 15, and concerned they are being subconsciously attention-seeking.

    I want to support them, but i don't really know what to say or what advice to give. Any help?
     
  2. BoiGeorge

    BoiGeorge Guest

    As someone who is FTM myself, I'd suggest just being here for him. The amount of people who have just walked away from me after discovering I was gay/trans was unbelievable! Just knowing that he has someone to confide in and trust and will always be there for him is the basis of what he needs right now. Its a hard thing to go through. Hes going to need a friend to be there for him. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Rin

    Rin
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    thanks :slight_smile: i am trying to be supportive. but i don't know what to do about the issue of his parents. he is really struggling with it, but i don't how to get around parental issues at all...
     
  4. Zendlar

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    BoiGeorge couldn't have said it better. Just be there for them. A good friend to talk to and have a shoulder to cry on is one of the best in the world. I am wishing myself I had a friend like that here with me. I'm sorta going through that, but in a worse time IMO to decide that it needs to be done. You could also introduce them to us here at EC. We are a helpful bunch that tries where it can.

    I don't think I would be able to do anything or have anyone to talk to without the people here at EC.
     
  5. BoiGeorge

    BoiGeorge Guest

    It takes time for parents to cool down and realize the truth. If he isnt allowed to cross dress in his home, maybe you could open your home up to him as a safe place to be himself. Assuming your parents are okay with it.
     
  6. Rin

    Rin
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    thanks for the advice :slight_smile: i tried to persuade them to use sites like this because i found them so helpful, but they said they felt awkward sharing their feelings with people they didn't know in the internet. I'm the only person they've really told, but I have absolutely no experience of this, so I guess you're right, I'll just have to be as supportive as I can.

    ---------- Post added 10th Dec 2012 at 09:21 PM ----------

    i would be fine with letting him cross dress at my house :slight_smile: it's a good idea that i hadn't thought of before. We live very close to one another, so it should be easy enough. The only trouble is that he doesn't have any male clothes - but I guess that's his christmas present sorted then!
     
    #6 Rin, Dec 10, 2012
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2012
  7. Cap’nSerious

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    A bit opposite, MtoF still the principle is still the same. Just be there for him, treat him as male and how he wants to treated. His Mother will get used to it just give her some time.

    ~Josie