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coming out over text....good or bad?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by hatethiscloset, Dec 10, 2012.

  1. hatethiscloset

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    I am just posting this because I want people's opinions on coming out through text rather than in person. Basically, I have this weird anxiety with actually telling people that I am gay, over text i feel it is a lot easier. I told me 3 best friends over text (and all were perfectly fine with it). I'm at the point now where all of my closest friends now know that I am gay. There is really no other person I want to tell just for the sake of them knowing this about me....But I have this one other friend who I recently have wanted to tell. Not because I want to test our friendship, but simply because I want to be able to talk about guys with her lol (sortof shallow, i know). Also, I am going off to college soon and want to start thinking about relationships but to do that I need to be completely out of the closet! and to be out of the closet I need to be able to come out in person.....So I am trying to decide if I should tell this friend in person and get some practice for later on, or just do it over text so she can at least find out and we can talk about it some more. I should note, although I have coming-out anxiety, once I am out to someone I really don't get that nervous when the subject is brought up. Its actually getting it out thats the problem!
     
  2. Adelaida

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    I have such trouble getting the words out too. But I would recommend at least trying to tell her in person first. Like you said, it's good to get some practice. And since you've already come out to other people, why not give it a shot and see if you can do it in person!
     
  3. FemCasanova

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    I think getting the practice would be good, but ultimately you should do what feels right for you. You are still young, if you haven`t gone on to college yet, so don`t feel like you "should be able to do" anything. I don`t think coming out over text is a terrible way to do it, at least you`re out, right?

    (*hug*)
     
  4. spiderweb

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    I told my parents through text, as I didn't feel comfortable enough to go through with it in person....my view has been that content matters most....and whichever way works best for you, go for it! :slight_smile:
     
  5. hatethiscloset

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    The weird thing about this is I am 100% positive that this friend will be completely okay with it. Like I'm not even nervous about her handling it badly. Its just in person I can never actually speak the words! For some odd reason! And lately I have also been SOO frustrated because I just want to say things every once in a while about cute guys or whatever lol and I just can't find the time! Even though all of my friends are really accepting I still feel like I am making it more awkward for them....even though they say I'm not.
     
  6. Dr Acula

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    I told a fair few friends by text and my parents by email. It just felt like the easiest way as I used to struggle with actually starting to talk, but could go on for hours once I'd started. The alternative is telling/texting someone that you need to tell them something really important and not to let you forget. They'll keep bugging you (I essentially made an appointment with the first person I came out to in person to come and ask me about it).
     
  7. SkyDiver

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    As someone who came out by text 90% of the time, don't do it unless you won't freak out if you don't get a response after a few minutes.

    It certainly is easier, but you also don't have the ability to see their face and their reaction.
     
  8. Zero Zero

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    Honestly, I like telling people in person. I think I only told like one person total over text. The rest was in person and I honestly think it's better in person that way you see their reaction rather than read it. I was nervous telling the first person in person, but it was good because they were really supportive witch made me know others would be too. Now, I'm basically all out! So, I'd say go for the in-person rather than text. :slight_smile: