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Coming out as bi to a friend?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MarchingRatt, Dec 10, 2012.

  1. MarchingRatt

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    So, I have a friend (female) that I met about a year and a half ago in one of our classes together. We started hanging out after classes and now we're very good friends. We get together at least once a week and get lunch. We've both acknowledged openly that neither one of us is interested in the other and that we're just friends.

    I've been working this past year to accept my bisexuality and, now that I'm out and open to myself, I want to come out to her. She's very open and accepting and I want to figure out a way to bring it up without making a huge deal about it. I want to be open with her and I trust her the most out of all my friends.

    I've thought about coming out to her in a text or in person, but I don't know which one would be better. She's very receptive and kind, but I'm afraid that a text might get taken in the wrong way and I have a hard time getting the words out in person, so I'm in a bit of a pickle.

    For reference, the only other people I've come out to about my bisexuality is my parents, and that involved a lot of crying and blowing my nose.

    I know for sure that I want to come out to my friend. What would you guys suggest that I do?
     
  2. Gallatin

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    I personally prefer coming out to people in person (mainly because I like to be able to read their reaction, which I can't really do over text or a call). But there were some people that I just told over text. Remember, there's no right or wrong way to come out to your friend. Do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable.

    If you want to tell her in person, without making a big deal of it, then just slip it casually into the conversation. Or talk about something like celebrity crushes - that's how I did it once. My friend and I were talking about our celebrity crushes, and I just causally said something to the effect of, "Scarlett Johansson is gorgeous... and so is Andrew Garfield. He's so cute!"

    However you choose to, good luck! Hope all goes well! :slight_smile:
     
  3. Chrissouth53

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    I agree with Alex that just working it into the conversation can do it.

    Using Alex's conversation, you can add "... and being bi I get to like both."
     
  4. wilted

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    I think you should probably tell her in person. I know it is scarier, but I think it's really impersonal to come out via text. If she's a good friend of yours, then she might be upset that you didn't trust her enough to tell her in person. I would suggest that you somehow just work it into the conversation you are having with her. Good luck!
     
  5. MarchingRatt

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    Thanks for the suggestions, you guys (and gal)! :kiss:

    I was leaning towards telling her in person as well, because of a rather awkward incident that happened over a text about a year ago. Basically, what happened was that I texted her a picture of a flower and she thought it meant I was interested in her. The ensuing chaos took a little while to sort out, but we're still very good friends, so it didn't really mess up our views of each other. :slight_smile:

    I like the celebrity crush suggestion, so I'll probably try to work it into a conversation in that way (Christina Ricci and Zachary Quintos are probably my top two celeb crushes right now, so that'll work out pretty well). The funny thing is, I don't know for sure if she's straight (it never came up in conversation), so I might learn a little bit more about her as well!

    I'm on a break from school right now, but I'll tell her when we meet back up in early January, so I'll let you guys know how it goes. Wish me luck!