I recentally came out to my parents (my mom on purpose and my dad on accident) and so far it isn't going so well. My mom is in denial and thinks I'm confused, and my dad says that I'm too young to decide my sexuality (im 15 and have known for years now. Also, by his logic, I'm too young to be straight ._.) Recentally, they took away my Facebook and won't let me talk to my bi friend. This is really hurtful because it shows that they don't trust me and she has been like my lifeline the last couple of days, being the only person willing to show support. The situation at home has quickly deteriorated to the point where I'm confronted constantly, depressed, and seriously considering running away. I really don't know what to do... I put myself on the line and tried to be more true to them, but all they do is come up with excuses and say that I'm just confused. It really hurts to have them openly scorn me like that. Please help... I'm out of ideas...
Is there anyone else that's accepting and that you can stay with, like a grandmother or aunt? If so, I would consider going with them, but make sure they are okay with you being LGBT. If anything, contact your school guidance counsellor or whomever if the situation becomes violent or detrimental to your health and mental being. Your parents may come to terms, eventually, with your sexuality, but denial is almost always the first stage of realization. It didn't happen to me, but it happens to, like, 99% of the LGBT population. You're not alone. As long as you keep telling them "I'm gay/bi and that's that", they'll hopefully leave you alone. If they don't, you'll need to seek help like I mentioned above. I hope I helped!
i have been in this situation, i tried to come out to my parents, and they told me that it was just a phase, and when i moved to uni they were just hoping that i would find a girlfriend and have a family, which is what they want... when i first told them, i moved out for 4 days to give everyone some space, this worked well in the short term, but after going back, they basically forgot it ever happened... so will have to go through it all again... if i were you, i would stick with it and keep going... they love you, so will come round to the idea eventually, will just take them time to accept it. things like this take time, just remember how long it took you to come to terms with it, its going to take them that time aswell. ive had many thoughts about what to do with my situation, and now looking back i kinda regret going away, because it meant that i ran away from it all and will have to go through it again... just stick with it and stay strong, can write on my wall whenever you want
IT GETS BETTER!!! Good for you that you had the courage to come out to your parents! I'm still getting around to that, but anyway to get to your post. Remember that they had so many "expectations" of you and they have to come to terms that those things just aren't going to happen ( NOT your fault ). Even thought they may be limiting your support system try and still try to keep finding healthy ways for you to relieve stress. As far as you not being able to decide what your preferences are is absolute rubbish. I think it was 7th grade when I started to realize that I was different and through the help of some friends realized what exactly that was by the start of 8th grade (so right about your age...too lazy to do the math) The absolute best thing you can do right now is just to ride it out and try keep the peace. While they are frustrating as they may be, they are your parents! I even got into a few cussing matches with my mom over "normal" teenage stuff completely unrelated to the fact I am into guys. Just give them some space and time. I also agree with Jonathan and jameson: Don't deny who you are at this point and try to strengthin up your support group
Thanks for the advice guys Unfortunately, I don't have a relative or anyone I cannstay with (most of them are hardcore Christians) and in unsure about how to strengthen my support system... I want to tell my friends, but after what happened with my parents im afraid that something could go terribly wrong... Over the last few days I've been told: It's just a phase It's normal to be curious at my age I'm just confused I'm too young to decide who I like It's because I had a bad relationship with a guy My friends are influencing me to be gay We can go to counseling if I need it ( -_- ) I never showed any signs ( they never payed attention) My mom always thought I would be a mother oh, but it's ok if im gay. Apperentally they'll support me if I am, but to them it's obvious I'm just confused -_- Doesn't that seem pretty contradictory? Especially when they keep telling me I'm not gay? They're doing anything but support me, and seem to feel the need to make my life a living hell... Let me tell you, it's getting pretty old having to hear every stereotype known to man -_- Oh, and I can tell that my mom is in MAJOR denial. Apparently having repetative dreams about kissing girls/telling people my sexuality is a normal thing. I mean come on, my dreams knew before I even started questioning! Like, years before. They just don't understand... ---------- Post added 14th Dec 2012 at 05:15 PM ---------- Sorry for the rant.. Really needed to get that off my chest..
dont be sorry rant away..sorry they are being like that.counseling could be a good idea im thinking they need more tho.as long as its a counseler that is not going to try to turn you straight or justify thier thinking.got to say wish i was as brave as you telling accepting friends parents is hard let alone phobs.is thier any gay support groups near you.
I think If I went to counseling it would just be for me, and I doubt it would help at all unless they were there. As far as gay support groups, I live pretty much in the middle of nowhere, so there's only like maybe 3-6 people in my school that aren't straight... No support groups for me, you guys are the closest I have
I was thinking the exact same thing...the counseling idea could actually blow up in their faces...especially where you are 15.
yea im not near any support like you.i dont think you so much need counselling . but sounds like they need i guess education!!!.dont give up on them yet. people do change we have spent probably far more time thinking about our sexuality but now they will have to.(i remember how hard i found it to accept im gay. so feel i should be forgiving of peoples poor understanding ).if you could convince them to go with you to a counselor who deals with sexuality then you might make some progress.but i know that might not be a option.either way you seem pretty smart.dont forget its their problem .
Uhmmm..... I know this may seem harder than it sounds, but thats because it is. give your parents a constant reminder. Or write them a letter explaining everything. I wish I had the guts to tell my parents. They would literally murder me.
Yeah, im slowly trying to work things out, but they don't really seem to want to listen to me. My parents are the type of people that like everything in it's own little box, and won't keep an open mind. They just like thier mind closed and ignorant because they're afraid of what they'll find if they open themselves up to the world.... Educating them on my sexualality is gonna be tough :/ ---------- Post added 15th Dec 2012 at 05:22 PM ---------- And as far as counseling goes, it would just be for me...
Hey guys! Guess what!? My parents are probably bringing me to some family counseling... They brought me to the doctors because they thought I was depressed, and the guy was AWESOME!! He supported me 100% and said that he thinks my parents just need to come to terms and that he will try to set us up with family counseling!! Finally!! I can see this completely backfiring on them and forcing them to see the real me!! Thank you all for your support and suggestions~~
