Gay or bi?

Well I have the exact same problem just with girls. I know in sexually attracted to girls but I'm not so sure about guys, really. So, I just say I'm bisexual but leans more towards girls. I might be saying this the wrong way but I like labels cause there straight forward and I'm a straight forward type of girl, so to me it seems that you lean more towards guys. Like for me I lean more towards girls because I can't imagine touching a dick eww. But I'd still be active with a guy, if you know what I'm saying.

Hope I helped!

 

Okay first of all, I'm 18 as well and I've never had a partner or kissed anyone so your not a loser.

It took years for me to get an idea of what my sexual orientation is. You shouldn't be fixated on the kinsey scale. It's merely suppose to be a guide for you. It's not 100% accurate.

You answer your question, you said the idea of 'going down' on a wrong is werid and kind of wrong; that to me that does sound like your gay. But ask yourself anyway, can you see yourself dating a woman? Can you imagine going on dates, living together, starting a family? Think about the type of personality you'd fall for and ask yourself, if a woman has that personality would you date her?

Ultimately only you can tell for sure whether your gay or bisexual. If you come to the conclusion that your gay then you'll one day find the perfect guy and your bisexual then you have the best of both worlds. Good luck with everything.

 

I would just like to point out that you could also identify as queer, which is basically just a way of saying not 100% heterosexual without specifically identifying with gay/bi/pan if you feel you don't fit perfectly into one of those labels. That's what I choose to do for the time being.

 

I was there for a long time, but I've gotten to the point that I really don't care. I'll alternate and read the person asking my sexuality and depending on which one i'll think they can take better.

 

Yep, a lot of us going through the same thing. I've got a girlfriend right now. Some of its great, some not. But I think I could just as easily say to myself "I've got a boyfriend." I think...

 

I think that, although there is definitely a line to draw somewhere, you don't have to love/fantasize about/want a particular gender's set of equipment to be "officially" attracted to said gender. Why should you have to love those parts in and of themselves?

Perhaps I speak only for myself (doubt it), but, specifically thinking about either male or female genitals...? As the catalyst for who I’m attracted to? No thanks.
If that's how I determined who and what gender I was attracted to I've be a very disturbed person, indeed. If I had to choose my sexuality based on which I liked better/wasn’t at least a little objectively grossed out by , I would rather become asexual, live as a hermit, and read books to my cats for the rest of all time.

When I ask myself who I am attracted to… it would be smart people… with good hygiene, respect, humor, and style. When I try to conjure up that kind of person in my head, he or she could be anyone. When I notice those sorts of people in my daily life – specifically my idea of those qualities in balance – they are usually women. Sometimes men.

I want to use “queer”- just for myself if nothing else. It would be a relief to stop describing myself as “not straight.”Right there with you on that one.
But because of where I live and the ways in which this word have been misused over and over – I didn’t even know it had so collective a meaning until recently. It’s a fair description, but if I used it out loud nobody I know would assume it’s any different than “gay” and I don’t think gay quite covers it.


There has to be a lot of... context involved. Like romance, the rest of the body, the personality - then maybe I can see myself preferring one over the other.

 

At least I know I'm not alone with these questions lol. I don't like being put in boxes usually, but, I feel this is important in this case. So here is the ugly truth, I am married to a guy who've dated since 2003. The entire time during the relationship I was really attracted to women and could never sustain the feeling of attracted or passionately romantic with my husband. The only reason I married him was so my terminally ill mother could see me get married, but, I emotionally hurt myself by sacrificing myself in some way. My mother has passed and now I feel that I would not have married him if she wasn't sick. I don't regret giving my mother the opportunity to see me get married but I do regret actually getting married to him. All my attractions, thoughts, fantasies ect. are with a woman. I could see myself finding someone to have a family with WAY down the road. I don't see myself with my husband in that sense at all and want to run when he asks about a family.
I'm having a really hard time showing myself unconditional love and acceptance. I'm not sure how to get to that point. When I honestly think about it, I'm almost certain I'm gay, but, does that even count considering I've never slept with a woman?

So lost and confused:eusa_doh:, sorry for kinda changing the subject.

GuidingLight

 

I guess I'll join in because I can relate as well. What you're experiencing is what I'm constantly thinking about everyday. It's actually driving me crazy, but I'm trying to figure it all out like, all of us here. You sound gay to me and I think you should embrace how you feel. Labels don't matter, but then they kinda do to me, although I feel more gay than bisexual.

I've been openly dating both men/women, but I think I kinda forced myself to like men. I tried, but every relationship has failed because of me. I've known since I was 19, but I keep going back & forth. I feel bad because I've hurt so many people due to my confusion, but they all have forgiven me. So, just be honest with yourself--something I seem to be unable to do

 

I think about it very often, life is so complicated even where it shouldn't be; love. I can totally understand the whole trying to force being someone your not..Who wants to be the not so perfect daughter? I guess a strong support system is key during this annoying time :/ I suppose the key to life is happiness and love is a huge part of that.

Thanks for sharing