If I told my family that I'm lesbian, they'd kick me out. I wouldn't get to go to uni, because they control my money. I wish it didn't have to be a secret. I love my girlfriend so much, and I've already had my heart shattered by my best friend walking out of my life when she found out. I can't go through that again. What am I suppose to do when my family is so homophobic? They already hate that I'm different looking. I'm adopted and Dominican by birth, whereas they're all white and Irish. I'm just so confused. Please help me.
Unfortunately, sometimes it's best to wait to come out especially if you're financially dependent on your family. So, perhaps try mentioning the legality of gay marriage and see how they react. If it's negative then I suggest you wait until you're in college. It's hard to believe they're racist if you were adopted, but anything's possible. I'm sure they were aware of your ethnicity beforehand. But I'm so sorry if they really are ashamed of you. At the end of the day we're all human, but I know what it's like to be treated differently because of the color of your skin. My immediate family and I were always like the black sheep in the family. So, now, not only am I considered the black sheep, I'm also gay. And in the black community, being gay is still not acceptable to some. I think you should tell them how you feel about them being racist. I can't say it'll do any good because a lot of people are set in their ways. Have you thought about speaking to your girlfriend about this, what about a therapist? They can be very helpful especially when you need someone to just listen to you. Talking about how you feel helps, so please stick around EC and you will grow. Hearing and reading other peoples' stories can be inspiring
Sounds like you are dealing with a lot and I'm sorry you're having to go through all of these uncomfortable feelings. When you already have a difficult relationship or issues that have not been dealt with in the family it makes it so much more difficult to even think about coming out to them. What I'm trying to do with my mother is first improve our communication and deal with some issues that have been present since childhood before I come out to her. I don't think that's necessarily the best option for you or anyone else. But that's the decision I made because if I can't even talk to her about everyday stuff I sure as hell know I won't be able explain my sexuality to her. And right now I'm too dependent on her to deal with the rejection that may come which would probably leave me without any financial support and possibly without a home as well. What is the main reason that you want to come out to them right now? What do you have to gain/lose?
