Friend returning

To make it understandable and avoid confusion, this was a long distance/online friendship. We have, or had, been talking/chatting pretty much every single day for 7 years now. We talked about everything, there were no secrets at all, we felt safe telling each other this and we both had a feeling of 'love', if you could call it that, for eachother in a platonic way. He was always someone I could rely on regardless of in-person friends and the like.

Now about 8 months ago he disappeared, facebook deleted and all, I figured maybe something happened where he couldn't contact me and it'd all be settled soon. Few months go by, I am pretty much unable to contact anyone who might know what happened to him (family or something.) Knowing our friendship he would never up and drop contact with me without some kind of heads or explaining why, at least not for this long. So, I accepted a false realization that he probably died, and it never got back to me, and I moved on. After this (the past few months) shit really hit the fan, my life went to hell and all I thought about was how I wish he was still around because it would have been so much easier with him.

So he shows up yesterday, adding me on facebook and what not and sends me a nonchalant message, asking me how I was and all. We chatted very little while I pretended nothing was wrong and that was that. Apparently nothing out of the ordinary happened, he just decided to 'take a break.'

I can't explain what I feel now, I suppose happy because he's okay..but also dumbfounded and extremely heartbroken that he would just up and disappear without any notion of it, knowing our friendship. One of the hardest times in my life thus far and he wasn't there because..just because. I mean, I thought he was dead, I moved on.
Now he's just all buddy buddy and such again like it never happened..I don't know how to feel. I don't even know how to forgive him if I wanted to, it makes everything he ever told me feel like a load of bullshit, I mean, if it were true, all the "I'll always be here for you: you won't be alone" how could he do that? I would never be able to do that to him, not if it was in my power any way.

Am I overreacting to this? It just seems really frustrating that he didn't even seem to care at all, as if he didn't even miss me or anything.

 

I had assumed something like that too, but we were always open in that sense. He knew I was on the borderline of liking him in "that way" but it never was an issue because I felt no need to be with him or anything, and he acknowledged he wasn't sure of his orientation and if something like that ever happened we'd figure it out.

It still wouldn't explain the just cut-and-run, I mean he could of simply said he needed a break or whatever, at least then I wouldn't of felt so helpless the entire time he was 'missing'. It wasn't even the fact of wanting him back, more so that he was okay. Given the circumstances I was under the impression something horrible happened or he had passed away.

It's hard for me to see it from his side. I could never, and would never do anything that may lead him to believe something happened to me, not if it was in my power. He knows I worry, as does he, he practically went insane during the month I couldn't contact him due to medical issues. There's something 'up' with him that I'm nervous to tell him how I'm feeling, he seems to have a much more "who cares" attitude since I last talked to him.