I had let this site go for a while, but I am back and I need some serious help. I have been battling depression for about 6 months now. I have tried to kill myself twice now. I have been drinking and I know I need to stop. I need someone who can help me. TO keep things short..... I have been drinking to the point where most nights I can barely stand. This has been going on for about a month now. The nights that I am not drinking, I have cut myself. I have tried to kill myself. Both times were unsuccessful My social life is gone. Most of my friends have stopped talking to me for one reason or another, and I spend most of my time alone at this point. None of them know that I am gay, that I am drinking, or that I am suicidal. I don't even know why most of them have stopped talking to me. I try to branch out to them, and they just ignore me. My family life isn't much better. My dad and I do nothing but fight when he is home. My mother is rarely home, and neither is my dad. They are both out either working or spending time with my sister. Like a lot of time. They are out almost every day from 4 to 9, sometimes later. When ever my dad is home we fight about whatever my dad wants to fight about, and whenever my mom is home she is to tired to really talk much. I was in a relationship, but that ended. I think I let that start my depression. I dont really want to put the details in here. Ask if you really want to know. I dont want things to be like this. I know that I can fix it, I just need a little help. Please message me.
First of all suicide is NEVER the answer: Preventing Suicide Among LGBTQ Youth | The Trevor Project - 1 866 488 7386 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 1-800-273-8255 And while we are not professionals we are always here to talk and help any way we can! second to address the drinking: Alcoholics Anonymous : Young People and AA I've seen first hand that the program works. (though my mother....god bless her almost 9 years sober now) YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!
I think SomeNights gave some great resources, but I just wanted to add that I have been through depression and you just took one of the hardest steps you will take in your journey to get better. It is so hard to take the first step and admit you are having a problem and need help. Although this is anonymous, it is still a HUGE deal. Know that if you can take this big step, you CAN get through this. Don't be afraid to lean on us for support. We are here for you!
You are most definitely not alone, and what you're feeling is temporary. The drinking is not a good idea at all because it's a depressive. I'm afraid for your safety because I know how it feels being under the influence and wanting to die. It's not a good feeling at all, and you just might become successful in your attempts, so please do not try again. The links above are important and you should check them. I can see that you're feeling lonely, but try to connect with your family. Tell them how you feel, I'm sure they will listen. I was outed by my brother about my self mutilation; I trusted a mutual friend of ours and he spilled the beans. I was upset, but it worked. If you ever need someone to talk to we're all here for you.
You have made a huge step in reaching out and asking for help. The Trevor Project is an excellent resource, call them. Please be very careful drinking and cutting, you really shouldn't do either (I know, everyone says that, but it is true). Things really do get better. Try not drinking for a month and watch how your perspective changes. Keep trying to reach out to your friends, I am sure that they do care about you, they probably don't know what to do or say. Keep reaching out, you might be surprised at who reaches back.
