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Have you ever felt like you had to be straight?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Beautifulme, Dec 12, 2012.

  1. Beautifulme

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    Have you ever forced yourself to be straight because of pressure of religion or age or family?
     
  2. i feel pressured all the time by my dad telling me to find a nice guy ...in fact he never said that until he found out i was questioning my sexuality and i was more focused on trying to figure it out and girls were on my mind...and guys were last thing , i wanted to think about and he was like

    "you need to get a boyfriend" and i just did not want a boyfriend AND i still don't want one. i'd rather have a girlfriend personally , i do still find guys attractive but i haven't had a crush on a guy for like what a year? haha

    my dad pressures me to go back to being "boy-crazy" but i've been maturing and i just don't feel myself wanting a guy right now. he wants me to stop thinking of girls. he says i'm just going through a phase but i'm learning not to listen to other people

    my grandmother is really religious so if i told her i'm interested in girls , she'd probably find it awkward.
     
  3. SomeNights

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    Not until recently. I had a bunch of friends really help me expand into who I am in the past few months. Going home for thanksgiving (i go to college about 1,600 miles away from where i grew up) where i'm not really "out" was really rough.

    On another note I was talking to my mom about how I missed snuggling with my dogs and she told me to "get a girlfriend". She doesn't know I'm into dudes or anything, but still that's the first time she's ever mentioned "relationship advice" and it was REALLY awkward. I didn't even know how to respond!
     
  4. Given To Fly

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    I forced myself to be straight for 31 years - I guess I couldn't get over the negative social stigma of admitting I was gay.

    I was never really happy during that time - I am now though - it's like a veil has lifted, and I can finally just be myself. Here's to the next 31 years :slight_smile:
     
  5. Beautifulme

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    Given to fly - I'm happy to hear that your happy in your own skin now. Congrats to you :icon_bigg
     
  6. Well, taking into mind my family is conservative, christian, and my stepdad told me he'd kill me if I was gay, which he suspects I am. Yup, it pressured me. :bang:
     
  7. Greendalehumans

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    Yes. Because of all of those reason :/

    But I've gotten a lot further in accepting myself and hopefully others will do the same :slight_smile:
     
  8. Given To Fly

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    Thanks - I'm really beyond happy - just need to meet that special someone now :kiss:
     
  9. Deaf Not Blind

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    Um duh yeah...until April!
    Now, how much can I tolerate from mom before I burst out "IM YOUR SON, DAMN IT!"
     
  10. dreamcatcher

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    Yes, I do this all the time. I force myself to act like a straight person 90% of the time. When I'm around friends, family, basically you name it. I'm only out to about 2 people that I talk to and see frequently around here. The few others that know don't live here. So it's easy to just settle into being straight because I don't know how to be myself when it comes to those topics and I'm too scared to not try to act straight.
     
  11. Neutrality

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    I sometimes feel pressured to go out with a girl since I've come out as pan....I wouldn't say I feel forced because I'd love to be in love with a girl just as much as I'd love to love a guy...I just love love...but, I know my family will be happier if I fall for a girl even though they are mostly supportive...but, I'm not forced at all.
     
  12. myheartincheck

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    Yes, and most of the time I feel like I'm wearing a way too tight corset, that is only loosened when I'm by myself and don't have to be afraid someone will catch me checking out a girl.
     
  13. BradThePug

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    Yeah.. I used to be the youth leader at a homophobic church. So, I tried to change myself a lot. After I graduated high school, I came to terms with my sexuality. I now am mostly out to everybody, so I don't have this problem much anymore.
     
  14. Beautifulme

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    People need to be more open minded:rolle:
     
  15. GuidingLight

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    Wow, I can relate. lol:eusa_doh:
     
  16. J9ah

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    Y' know this idea of being "straight" is basically a whole lot of loud sounding nothing, like all bigotry society has been imposing some caricature of what not being straight is. The only fundamental difference for those of us not attracted exclusively to the opposite sex, is just that and nothing else? So I can be whatever the hell I want since who I choose to love is no ones business but mine unless I choose not to make it so.
     
  17. Asari

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    Yep. I used to be in ministry so I'm not sure I'm ready for the huge scandal of me coming out. I left this ministry but I'm still good friends with some of the people there. I asked this other girl that came out in the church I was involved in what it was like. She said she had people calling her and messaging her on fb every day trying to get her to change her sinful ways. She was really brave because she still went to church camp and everything after she came out. People just assumed that since she was still going to church that she was straight or that she changed so they stopped pestering her. I think my friends that I've come out to assume this as well because I still have strong religious beliefs. It's strange that they think you can't be gay and religious at the same time.
     
  18. Beautifulme

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    I think that is a big misconception... People think that either be gay and be a sinner and go to hell or be straight and you ll be able to go to heaven...people think its a choice but its who you are. Many many people have suffered and still suffering trying to be something they are not because they want to be viewed as doing what's " normal". Why would anyone choose to suffer if it is a choice? I'm not gay and I can see that being gay isn't a choice. My friends have suffered because they aren't accepted.. Why would anyone choose that... No one would. People just don't understand.
     
  19. Tails Luver

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    Yeah, I've "forced" myself to be straight because of all three of those. I still do when I'm around my parents because, well... they think I somehow told them I was straight after I told them I was bi. (I honestly think they're in denial, but I'm not gonna go off on a tangent.)

    Let's see... Religion... Yup, I've definitely had to hide because of that. I'm Catholic. I grew up Catholic. I went through my entire life being told that "guy + guy = bad". Hell, I still get told that, and I still hide because of that. Let's just say I'm not coming out to my church.

    Age is one, too, although it hasn't affected me very much. I found out I was bi when I was twelve, but I was scared as heck about it. I thought I was gay back then, and I thought that there was no possible way I could be gay. And I knew I couldn't tell anybody, either, 'cause I knew I'd get the "you're too young to know" thing.

    Family's the biggest one for me. My parents have disapproved of homosexuals ever since I can remember. They're actually the ones that most hindered my coming out. It was because of them, mainly, that I kept telling myself, "I can't be bi. I'm not bi." I knew they wouldn't approve, and to some extent, they didn't. Like I said earlier, I'm pretty sure they're in denial now.

    Anyway, yeah, that's how I had to hide.
     
  20. Beautifulme

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    Tails luver I love the quote on your signature...it's so true...I love it :slight_smile: